After The Fall
by leefert
Summary: Alex Taylor is a firefighter and a paramedic, but this time she's not helping someone else hold onto life she's holding onto her own. But will she be able to save herself? Final chapter is up. Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

The dust slowly began to settle and darkness quickly set in. The crackle of the fire could be heard. There was a constant click, the sound made while breathing through an SCBA. Within seconds the PAS alarm would begin to sound and alert others to the motionless firefighter, but it would take too long to get to him.

_Earlier in the day_

"_Good morning everyone!" Jimmy announced as he walked down the stairs smiling_

_Taylor sat at the table reading the newspaper while Walsh was cooking breakfast. DK was making a fresh pot of coffee. It was a typical May morning, plenty of sunshine and blue skies. Lombardo came upstairs._

"_It's beautiful out there!" He announced as he grabbed the Sports page and sat down._

"_Hey, I was reading that." Taylor protested_

"_It was lying on the table." Lombardo replied_

"_And I hadn't gotten to it yet." Taylor replied_

_Walsh walked over to the table with a tall stack of pancakes. _

"_It's time to eat anyway." He smiled_

_Lieutenant Johnson came out of the office with his coffee mug in hand. _

"_Smells good Billy." He said_

"_There's plenty here so eat up." Walsh then put a plate of bacon on the table as well. _

_The Squad sat down and ate just like they always had. It was a tradition that had always been carried out by them. _

"_It's Monday." Jimmy smiled_

"_Barbeque!" DK and Lombardo said in unison._

_The Monday night barbeques were always a treat. _

"_Is all the shopping done for it?" Lt. Johnson asked_

"_Not yet, I wanted to make sure that the burgers were good and fresh." Walsh replied with a smile_

"_We'll go out this afternoon if we don't have a run and get the shopping done." Lt. Johnson replied_

_There was a bodega down the street, but it was high priced and not as good of quality than one that was a few blocks away. Of course they all began to wonder if Walsh had a sweetheart that worked at that one because that was the only place he ever wanted to shop. Once he was finished shopping he always walked out with a smile. _

"_So that's settled then." Jimmy said_

_When they had all finished eating they helped to clear the table and wandered downstairs to wash and wax the truck. They were proud of it and it showed when the chrome glimmered in the mid-morning sun. As they rested along the sidewalk the alarm sounded._

"_Squad 5-5, Ladder 100 responded 18116 Lexington for a residential alarm."_

"_Well you heard the alarm, let's go." Lombardo said as they all got their gear and headed out._

The PAS alarm sounded, first an occasional beep; then it became steadier, finally ending in a constant alarm.

Taylor tried to move but she felt like the weight of the world was on her. She looked around in the darkness, only a small beam of light from her flashlight broke the darkness. She tried to reach for her radio but her arm was pinned. She was on her back looking up towards the point she had fallen from. Her whole body felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives. Then she thought about the situation and realized that her air was almost out. She tried to stay calm. Alone in a burning building was not where you wanted to be as a firefighter. Alone and unable to move was even worse.

There was nothing but static coming through her radio. She tried to lift her head. All she could manage was a faint, "Help me" before fading from consciousness.

_Walsh was guiding the truck through the traffic of the city when the call came across the radio to cancel on the alarm. It was a false trip. Lieutenant Johnson acknowledged on the radio as Walsh shut down the lights. _

"_Another false alarm." DK said_

"_That's what, like the 8th this week?" Lombardo asked_

"_Something like that." Jimmy replied_

"_Now come on, do we really want to be fighting a fire on a beautiful day like today?" Taylor asked_

"_Taylor's right, I'd rather not be covered in soot and sweating my ass off right now." DK replied_

"_We're gonna stop and get groceries." Lt. Johnson announced, "Anyone want anything?"_

"_Can we get some salt n' vinegar chips?" Lombardo asked_

"_What you on the rag again Lombardo?" Jimmy asked_

_While everyone else laughed Lombardo replied, "No, I just want salt n' vinegar chips, you got a problem with that?"_

"_At least it's not pickles and ice cream." Taylor cracked_

"_Alright salt and vinegar chips, anything else?" Lt. Johnson asked_

"_Not that I can think of Lieu." Jimmy replied_

"_Unless we do a salad too." DK chimed_

"_Salad's good." Lombardo said _

_Walsh pulled the truck to a stop in front of the bodega. _

"_Shouldn't take too long." He said as he climbed out_

_Taylor looked in the windows of the little shop._

"_Is that the one?" She asked_

_Jimmy, Lombardo, and DK just about squashed her as they all tried to get a look. _

"_You know getting out of the truck would be a little less obvious." Taylor cracked_

_They filed out of the truck trying to catch a glimpse of Walsh with the woman. Taylor looked at them and laughed._

"_You could make it a little less obvious." Lt. Johnson said from the truck_

"_Shit, here he comes." Jimmy said as they tried to look discrete._

"_What are you doing?" Walsh asked_

"_Getting some fresh air." DK replied with a grin_

"_Uh-huh." Walsh said sarcastically as he handed the bags to Lombardo, "Dogs stick their heads out the window for fresh air." _

"_Hey." DK said insulted_

"_Let's go." Walsh said as he climbed up into the driver's seat with a laugh._

"_You walked right into that one." Taylor admitted_

"Taylor?" Jimmy called

"Taylor!" Lombardo yelled as they searched the remains of the 8th floor.

The orange glow from the fire was getting brighter.

"We're losing time." Walsh said

"We have got to find her." Jimmy replied

Kim and Carlos stood outside the building. It was now well after 9 PM and the building was silhouetted against the black night. They were dumping as much water on the building as possible to try and contain the fire, and maybe help the search. The fireboats were pulling water out of the river but it seemed that they were trying to quench the unquenchable thirst of a monster.

"How long's it been?" The Battalion Chief asked

"45 minutes." Lt. Johnson said glumly, not taking his eyes off of the building.

Taylor lay motionless. Her eyes were scanning her surroundings. She had fallen at least 3 floors, maybe more. She tried to control her breathing, but it was starting to get harder to do. The low air alarm began to sound. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Okay Alex." She thought to herself. "Stay calm. They'll find you."

Then she looked at the blackness and heard a noise. Some debris from above fell into her little cavern. She closed her eyes and braced for the impact.

_Kim walked into the lounge, it was time for her shift to start. _

"_You riding with Carlos again?" Taylor asked_

"_Yeah, Doc's off again." Kim replied_

_That meant that there was one less bus running out of their house this shift. Taylor kind of hated that but they were still short staffed. Taylor would much rather be on a fire truck and so she rarely volunteered to cover a medic shift. She made more money on the fire truck, so it was more of a financial decision than anything. _

"_Have fun with that." Taylor said sarcastically_

"_Thanks." Kim rolled her eyes_

_Within moments the alarm sounded._

"_Squad 5-5, Ladder 100, Adam 5-5-3 respond for a warehouse fire 8108 Riverside."_

"_Well, looks like the barbeque's going to have to be postponed." Jimmy said as he rushed towards the truck._

_Carlos ran up the stairs._

"_Looks like I'm changing in the bus." He said _

"_Good, I'm driving." Kim smiled_

_As they approached the street they could see a huge column of smoke. Lt. Johnson immediately radioed it in as a 10-75 and requested an additional alarm be struck. Within moments they pulled on the scene in front of a 10 story clothing factory that had flames and smoke coming from 6 different floors. _

"_Lieutenant 5-5 to Central. Strike an additional alarm on this box. I have a 10 story factory with smoke and flames from 6 floors." Lt. Johnson radioed _

_The Squad looked at the building for a moment and then realized the task that was a head of them. They had to get everyone out of that building. Without orders they set to do the task at hand. Search and rescue was their first and foremost priority, the incoming units would begin to fight the fire. So they all put their masks on quickly and went into the building. _

_They made their way through the lower floors quickly, there was no fire down there and most everyone had already evacuated. They began their ascent up to the 4th floor where they encountered fire. The guys from Engine Company 86 already had lines up to it and were making a quick knockdown. So they proceeded to the 5th floor where they had heard some workers were trapped._

"_Alright, split up, the floor won't hold the weight of all of us." Jimmy said_

"_Right." DK replied_

_So they divided, Jimmy and Taylor took one side of the floor, DK and Lombardo went the other. _

"_Watch the floor and the ceiling; we're in a hot zone." Jimmy reminded them._

"_Got it." Lombardo said as they split off _

"_You ready?" Jimmy asked Taylor_

"_Let's get this done." Taylor replied._

"We're not making much leeway in this fight." The Chief said

Lt. Johnson was trying not to think the worst, but it was very likely that Taylor was dead. She had run out of the air at least 20 minutes ago and for all they knew she fell right into the fire. Miracles had happened, but he was unsure that his prayers would be answered on this one.

"I want to get her out of there as much as you do Francis. After all, I've known her since she was a kid, but I can't spend anymore time trying to find her with a monster like that raging." The Chief said

Lt. Johnson tried to fight back tears of anger and sadness, but he knew that the fire had to be fought and that the teams searching for Taylor would do a lot in helping to control it. He knew that as an officer tough choices would have to be made, and this was by far one of the toughest he had ever faced.

Reports on the radio were starting to come in that multiple floors were beginning to come down. Lt. Johnson sighed at the thought but he knew what the call was going to be.

"Bring them out; we'll recover the body once it's out." The Chief said

The look on Walsh's face was shear horror. They were leaving one of their own in the building, worst yet; they were leaving Alex Taylor inside.

"Sound the sirens!" Lt. Johnson ordered

Walsh hesitated for a moment, not wanting to carry out the order.

"Billy, NOW!" Lt. Johnson yelled

Walsh took a look at the building and then ran to the side of the squad and started to pull the air horn. The other chauffeurs did the same.

Taylor woke up again; the pain had slid into numbness. She couldn't feel anything. She could hear her alarms sounding, and heard the air horns as well. But she was powerless to do anything about it.

"No." She cried to herself, "Some one please. Some one help me."

She could barely breathe and there was one thought that she had tried to keep out of her mind… DEATH. Taylor didn't want to die. Not here, not now. She tried to fight back the tears that were welling up in her eyes but she couldn't. Slowly they trickled down her face.

"Please, help me." She cried weakly.

_TO BE CONTINUED_


	2. MAY DAY

"_The floor's getting weaker." Taylor noted_

"_Yeah, just one more room and we'll be out of this part." Jimmy replied_

_Jimmy was checking around a bunch of tables when he heard something snap. _

"_Alex?" He said_

"_Jimmy!" She yelled _

_Within seconds the ceiling above them came crashing down. In what felt like slow motion to him, Jimmy watched as debris hit Taylor and then she was forced through the floor. _

_Taylor grasped for anything she could, but she was falling too fast. She fell down onto the top of machine before rolling off of that and hitting the floor hard. The machine slowly began to topple over and she tried to move but the building was unforgiving and the impact of her fall and the machine caused that floor to give way and down she went. _

_Jimmy rushed to the hole and looked down, but there was too much smoke and debris to see where Taylor had fallen. _

"_MAY DAY MAY DAY MAY DAY!" Jimmy yelled into his radio_

_All other radio traffic stopped_

"_We have a firefighter down, 5th floor. The floor collapsed unknown location on the firefighter." Jimmy said_

"_There's been a May Day issued, all units not operating the May Day switch to channel 2. All units not operating the May Day switch to channel 2." The dispatcher said_

Jimmy didn't want to give up the search for Taylor. She was one of his best friends. He admired her strength and courage after 9/11 when her father was missing. Jimmy heard the sirens, but he was determined to bring Taylor out alive.

"Come on Jimmy let's go. Chief's ordering everyone out." Lombardo said

"I'm not letting her die in here!" Jimmy replied as he feverishly searched the area.

"We've got to go Jimmy, the building's too unstable." Lombardo argued

"Quiet!" DK yelled

Jimmy and Lombardo stood silently.

"Hear that?" DK asked

"It's an alarm." Jimmy said, "Taylor's down there!"

_Taylor lay motionless amid the debris. She was unconscious but could hear the sound of scraping metal. She began to come to enough to realize what had happened, just as her PAS device activated._

"_Oh God!" She thought to herself. "That's my alarm. How far did I fall?" _

_She began running through questions in her head but her thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the alarm and the roar of the fire. _

"_I've got to get out of here." She said. _

_Taylor tried to move when she realized that she couldn't. She was trapped._

"Are all of your men out?" The Chief asked

"Sir, I see no sign of them yet." Lt. Johnson radioed

"Lt. Johnson, get your men out of that building now!" The Chief demanded. "I'm not losing any more firefighters."

Lt. Johnson reached for his radio to call them. "Jimmy, DK, Lombardo, get the hell out of there now." He radioed

He got static back so he repeated his message.

"Hear that?" Lombardo asked of the radio call

"Yeah." Jimmy replied

"Let's find Taylor and get out of here. I don't want to leave little Joe fatherless." Lombardo said of his now 4 month old son.

"Taylor?" DK called

"Taylor can you hear us?" Jimmy asked

"There!" DK pointed as he saw the light from Taylor's flashlight.

"Hang on Alex, we're coming." Jimmy said as they made their way through debris

"She's stuck." DK said

"We gotta get her out of here." Jimmy said

"Squad 5-5 to Lieutenant 5-5, we found her!" Lombardo exclaimed

"Lombardo, you get her and you get out of there!" Lt. Johnson returned

DK and Jimmy were struggling to free Taylor.

"You hang in there Alex, you hear me? Wake up." Jimmy said

"Come on Alex." DK said

_Taylor's thoughts focused on the academy. _

"_The number 1 rule of firefighting, NEVER leave your partner behind!" The instructor drilled into their heads. "You got that Taylor?" _

"_I got that sir. Never leave my partner behind." Alex replied_

_The other recruits and instructors didn't take too kindly to Alex being in their class. Women weren't supposed to be firefighters. It didn't matter who their father was, women didn't belong in turnout gear. _

_It seemed like every drill and evolution was made that much harder for her. But Alex fought the urge to give up- even when it seemed like giving up was the only option. _

_On graduation day she stood in formation with the rest of her class. It was the greatest day of her life. She searched the crowd for her father. He wouldn't show it to everyone else, but he was proud that she had gotten through the academy. It was much to her mother's dismay though. _

_After the ceremony she stood with her father._

"_Alex, you don't even know how proud I am of you." Angus said_

"_I know that you're proud of me Daddy." Alex said_

_Angus pulled a small box from his dress coat. "I want you to have this." _

_From the box he pulled a gold necklace with a St. Florian ring on it. "St. Florian, protector of firefighters." He said with a smile_

"_Thank you." Taylor said as her father fastened the necklace around her neck._

_They posed for a couple pictures together and then her father left. _

"Don't leave me." Taylor whimpered

"We're not going to leave you Alex; we're getting you out of here." Jimmy said as he and DK picked her up and started on their way out of the building.

It didn't take long before they were outside of the building. Kim and Carlos moved the stretcher closer to DK and Jimmy. Soon they were removing equipment and then the protective clothing.

"How far did she fall?" Kim asked as a crowd of firefighters gathered around them, including the Battalion Chief and Lieutenant Johnson.

"3 floors." Jimmy replied

"She land on her back?" Carlos asked quickly

"That's how she was when we found her." Jimmy replied as they loaded Taylor into the back of the medic unit.

"I'm going to need Carlos in the back with me, so we need a driver." Kim said

"Say no more." Jimmy replied

Kim and Carlos worked quickly to establish an IV and do a quick trauma assessment.

"Her respirations are shallow." Carlos said

"We need to get an airway in, I have a feeling she won't be breathing on her own if we don't." Kim replied

Carlos was nervous as he attempted to insert the tube.

"Come on Carlos." He said to himself, "You've done this hundreds of times before. Just because it's Alex doesn't make it any different."

"Do you have the tube?" Kim asked impatiently

"It's in!" Carlos announced

"Alright Jimmy let's go!" Kim yelled

Jimmy hit the sirens and headed towards Mercy. It was only a few minutes before they pulled up to the doors of the emergency room.

Everything was a blur as they rushed Taylor inside.

"30 year old female. Fell 3 floors inside a factory fire. Resps shallow, pulse thready, in and out of consciousness, possible femur and pelvic fractures as well as multiple upper body injuries." Kim rattled off

"How long was she trapped?" Dr. Fields asked as he listened to Taylor's heartbeat

"Approximately 45 minutes." Kim answered

Kim, Carlos, and Jimmy were pushed out of the room and they watched helplessly as Dr. Fields and the nurses worked on Taylor.

"I need X Ray in here stat!" Dr. Fields yelled, "And page surgery."

Kim began to cry and Jimmy put his arm around her.

"It's Alex, she'll be okay." Jimmy said

"You don't know that!" Carlos snapped, "No one knows that!" He grabbed the stretcher and stormed out of the ER.

"We'll have to wait and see." Kim said, "Hang in there Alex."


	3. Waiting Room

The surgical waiting room became crowed with Alex's friends, and family- including her firehouse family. Everyone sat, some in silence, some talked amongst themselves. It was tense.

"I just heard." Doc said as he rushed into the waiting room, "Is she okay?"

Carlos got up and met him, "It's bad Doc."

"What happened?" Doc asked

"She fell through the floor." Carlos said as he looked over to Jimmy.

Jimmy was taking it pretty hard. He couldn't be consoled. No matter who tried to tell him otherwise, Jimmy felt that Taylor's fall was his fault.

Kim walked over with coffee.

"Mom said it's no problem to keep Joey tonight." She said softly

Jimmy just nodded his head and sat forward in his seat. He looked around.

"This is my fault Kim." He said

"No it's not." Kim replied

"Why didn't I go through instead of her?" He asked

"Jimmy, stop beating yourself up over this. It was not your fault. No matter what you would have done Taylor would have still gone through that floor, and what's worse you could have gone through too! Now stop feeling like it's your fault and start praying that Taylor is okay!" Kim said to him

"_I need a 10 blade." One of the surgeons said_

"_Where do we begin?" Asked another_

"_She took one hell of a fall." Someone else said_

"_We need to get her back together, whether it takes 1 surgery or 100." The first surgeon added, "Rib spreader." _

"_How do you want to do this pelvis and femur?" The other surgeon asked_

"_Did anyone page Ortho yet?" _

"_I'll page them again." A nurse replied_

"_One thing at a time, let's get this lung out of danger first." _

_Taylor looked so fragile lying on the operation table. There were wires and tubes everywhere. Her face was pale and emotionless. _

Lieutenant Johnson sat by Beth Taylor. She was holding up fairly well.

"Why does it seem so many times we are brought together in times like this Francis?" She asked

"It's the beast of the job." Lt. Johnson replied

"I lost my husband to it, and now I may lose my daughter to it as well." She said honestly

"I doubt that Alex is going to give up. She's the toughest person I've ever met." Lt. Johnson said

"After he father died I begged her to go back to being a paramedic, but she said that she wanted to make a difference like her Daddy. Does she have to give up her life to be worthy to the job?" Beth asked

By now some other members of the Squad were listening in on the conversation but they didn't comment.

"Beth, I thank God for every day he let's me see on this job. I have some great people on my team, your daughter especially. After the terror of the 11th, I gained strength from her. She believed all those days, even when hope was gone, that her father was still alive and we just hadn't found him yet. You could call her a champion of hope. Even when we moved her over to the medic unit, she still hoped and believed that he was alive. That takes a lot of faith to be able to hold on that long. The guys admired her strength. Every single one of them would trade places with Taylor in a heartbeat. But she wouldn't let them if they could. It's her fight to win, and believe me; Taylor will come out on the winning side of this. Don't you give up hope. Don't think that it is a question of bravery or worthiness. I hate the fact that it happened, but Taylor is a fighter and this will just be one more bump in the road to her." Lt. Johnson preached

Beth wasn't sure how to respond to it and so she didn't.

"Could someone get me a cup of coffee?" She asked.

Within moments DK walked over to her with a cup in hand.

"Here you go." He said

"Thank you Derek." She replied

_Everything was bright as Taylor was on the table. Her consciousness drifted. She wasn't in control of her thoughts or her body. It was a weird feeling to her. It was almost peaceful. Her mind drifted back to when Bobby was killed._

"_Hang in there Bobby." Doc said as they put him on a backboard_

"_Okay guys on 3. 1…2…3!" Jimmy said as they lifted Bobby off of the bathroom floor._

"_Let's get him out of here." Lt. Johnson said_

_The group of firefighters and medics ushered Bobby down the stairs to the waiting medic unit. Taylor stuck her head out the back as she saw them coming._

"_Everything's set up Doc." She said as she climbed from the back of the unit._

"_Taylor, can you drive? I'm going to need an extra set of hands with me." Doc asked_

"_Sure." Taylor replied_

_It seemed like it took forever to make it to Mercy. Then they watched the agonizing moments as they prepared him for surgery. When they finally took Bobby upstairs the Squad grew restless. _

"_I want to go back and get a shower." Jimmy said as he looked at his blood soaked uniform._

"_I don't think I can handle staying in this waiting room." Taylor added_

"_You guys go on back; we'll call you if anything changes." Lt. Johnson said_

_With that they returned to the firehouse, hoping and praying that Bobby would be okay. It wasn't though. Bobby didn't make it. _

_The realization then hit Taylor, "They're out in the waiting room waiting for me."_

"How long have we been waiting here?" Carlos paced impatiently

"4 hours." Walsh said

"What's taking so long?" Carlos asked

"Hey, if taking forever makes Taylor okay, I'm okay with it." Walsh replied

That's when they looked up and saw the surgeon coming towards them…


	4. Heartache

They watched nervously as the surgeon walked out to speak to them.

"Mrs. Taylor." He said as he took off his cap

"Yes?" She stood up nervously, Lt. Johnson stood up as well

"I'm Doctor Wagner, I was one of the surgeons who worked on your daughter." The man said

"How is she?" Beth Taylor wanted to know.

"Can we talk in private?" The doctor asked as he looked around the waiting room

"Francis, please come with me." Beth replied

Lt. Johnson nodded his head as he followed the doctor into another room.

"If they want to talk in private, that's not good right?" DK asked

"Maybe." Kim replied as Jimmy took her hand

"It's Taylor." Walsh's voice cracked, "She'll be fine.- I hope." He said under his breath

Dr. Wagner closed the door.

"Please have a seat." He said

"I've been sitting for hours." Beth replied

"Okay, well then let's just get right down to it." Dr. Wagner began. "We have basically begun working on fixing the major injuries. We'll have to keep her sedated and perform a couple more surgeries to fix some smaller problems."

"Will she be okay?" Beth asked

"We'll know more once we finish all of the surgeries. Right now is a crucial period. We need to keep her vital signs up so that she can withstand the additional surgeries." Dr. Wagner said

"Can I see her?" Beth asked

"Yes, but only for a moment." Dr. Wagner replied

Beth let go of Lt. Johnson's arm and followed Dr. Wagner. Lt. Johnson returned to the waiting room.

"Well?" Jimmy asked as everyone was anxious to hear the news.

"She's not out of it yet." Lt. Johnson said, "It's going to take a lot of prayers to get her through this."

Everyone began to worry. Lt. Johnson was normally straightforward with his answers, but this time he wasn't.

_Taylor could hear her mother walk into the room. She also heard the clicking of the ventilator that she was on, and the beep of the monitors. Her mother took her hand._

"_Alex honey, I hope you can hear me." Beth paused to gain composure. "I'm here, we're all here. You need to get better. We need you." A tear streamed down Beth's face._

_Suddenly Taylor wanted to speak. _

"_Why can't I speak?" She asked herself, "I can hear you, mom, don't worry I'll be okay." _

_She wanted to blurt it out but she couldn't. She felt powerless. Then she heard the nurse tell her mother that she needed to let her rest. _

"_No, mom. Please don't leave me!" Taylor cried in her mind_

_Her mother left the room and Taylor felt alone and helpless again. A tear fell down her cheek. Suddenly, as if she wasn't in control of her own body she began shaking. The alarms began going off._

"I need a doctor in here!" The nurse yelled as she rushed to Taylor's bedside. "She's seizing!"

Dr. Wagner rushed into the room to see Taylor flailing like a fish out of water.

"Give her valium now! And somebody stop her mother from leaving! I need to talk to her." Dr. Wagner ordered

The nurse came running down the hall after Beth Taylor, who was walking amid the members of the Squad.

"Mrs. Taylor!" The nurse yelled

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

"Mrs. Taylor, Dr. Wagner needs to speak with you. Urgently." The nurse was slightly out of breath

Everyone's hearts sank.

Lt. Johnson escorted Beth back to the waiting room while everyone stood out in the hallway. It wasn't long before Dr. Wagner entered the room carrying papers.

"Mrs. Taylor." He spoke softly. "Your daughter had a seizure. We had to medicate her to stop it. I'm afraid that we don't know how much damage it may have caused though." He stopped.

Beth looked at him, more like right through him. Lt. Johnson couldn't take it any longer.

"What are you saying Doctor?" Lt. Johnson asked

"There's a possibility that she may never come out of this." Dr. Wagner said frankly.

"You can't do anything to help her?" Lt. Johnson asked

"I wish I could say that we can, but unless she wakes up on her own, I'm afraid not." Dr. Wagner replied, "Which is why I brought these papers out."

Beth Taylor fought back tears.

"Mrs. Taylor, do you know if Alexandra has any advance directives such as a 'Do Not Resuscitate Order' or a living will?" Dr. Wagner asked

"I… I don't know." Beth replied

"Mrs. Taylor, I know that this is difficult, but would your daughter want heroic measures carried out if she were to go into cardiac arrest?" Dr. Wagner asked

Beth fought back her emotions and stood silently. Lt. Johnson watched her.

"You mean that there is a chance that my daughter is going to die?" Beth asked

Dr. Wagner looked down for a moment.

"We don't know." He said glumly

"Tell me that my daughter's not going to die in that bed!" Beth screamed

"Mrs. Taylor." Dr. Wagner tried to calm her. "We're doing everything we can to help her, but facing the situation that she's in… anything's possible."

Lt. Johnson was visibly troubled by the news.

"Beth, please, think about what Taylor would want." He urged

Beth cried, "I'll sign the paper."

Dr. Wagner handed the paper to Beth as well as a pen.

Beth signed her name and then gathered her composure.

"Please, do whatever you can to help my daughter." She said

"We will do all that we can, I promise." Dr. Wagner said

"Come on Beth, I'll take you home." Lt. Johnson said as he looked through the window and saw everyone watching them.

"Please, don't tell them what just happened." Beth asked

"I won't." Lt. Johnson said calmly

As they walked out of the room you could hear a pin drop.

"Let's go home." Lt. Johnson said

Everyone left the hospital silently…


	5. The Fight

Everything seemed so strange to Taylor. She felt as though if she had lost control over her body. There was no way she could fight to regain control though; she was heavily medicated after her seizure. She looked so frail lying in the hospital bed. The monitors and ventilator still beeped and clicked. She knew she was still alive, but she couldn't feel anything. It was like she was watching herself die. There was a familiar voice in the room.

"Adam?" She asked herself.

She hadn't really talked to her brother since her father's funeral.

Adam took her hand as he sat in a chair beside her bed.

"Hey there little sis." He said. "It's time to wake up now. You've got us all worried sick."

She thought to herself, "How long have I been out? What day is it? What's wrong, why can't I wake up?"

"Come on. I can't stand seeing you like this." He continued, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of the times that I faulted you for following Dad. I still wish you hadn't because then you wouldn't be where you are right now. But I'm sorry for all of the things I said to you. Just please come back to us."

Taylor was shocked. When Adam decided to be a nurse she made fun of him. But after being in the hospital and being cared for by them, she wanted to say that she was sorry.

"What's he saying he's sorry for? I'm the one who should be sorry for doubting him when he became a nurse- I can see why he did now." Taylor said

"I have to go now Alex, but I'll be back to check on you. I promise that I'm not going anywhere. None of us are." Adam kissed her forehead and left the room as quietly as he came in.

"I have got to wake up!" Taylor urged herself.

It had been over a week since Taylor's fall. The firehouse was slowly returning to a state of normalcy. It wasn't the same without Taylor around.

"I miss her." Lombardo said

"I think all of us do." Walsh replied, "It's just not the same without her making fun of someone."

"We're getting a fill-in" Jimmy said

"Yeah probably some probie fresh out of the academy." DK said sarcastically

"I can't bare the thought." Lombardo replied

"Glad that I ain't going in." Walsh cracked

"Well they gotta learn sometime." Jimmy replied

"Listen to you being okay with the thought of a probie being your partner." Lombardo said

Jimmy had a hint of arrogance in his voice when he replied, "Hey, they gotta learn from the best."

"Just don't send them through the floor like you did Taylor." DK said under his breath

"What'd you say?" Jimmy asked in anger

"You heard me." DK replied

Jimmy rushed at DK. DK caught Jimmy before he could get the advantage. Walsh and Lombardo quickly grabbed Jimmy.

"Cool it Jimmy!" Walsh said

"Don't you dare blame Taylor's accident on me!" Jimmy yelled as they pulled him away

Lt. Johnson had heard the commotion and came out of his office.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Lt. Johnson ordered

"Just a little rift Lieu, it's ok." Lombardo replied

"This is not the time for little "rifts" to occur in MY firehouse. I'm already down one firefighter and I'm not going to have everyone else bickering and fighting. You guys are a family, a team, and if you can't hold it together how much good is that going to do? In case you all have forgotten, you all need each other." Lt. Johnson chastised

Everyone stood and looked at him.

"Taylor would be angry with you guys fighting like little school boys. That was no one's fault, just bad luck. If you have to blame someone for the accident, blame me. And if you want to fight, join a boxing club because you're not doing it in my firehouse!" Lt. Johnson said before he turned around and walked back into his office.

The guys just stood and looked at each other silently. Walsh grabbed a towel and went down the stairs.

Kim and Carlos returned from a call. Kim saw Walsh feverishly polishing the chrome on the squad. As Carlos walked upstairs, Kim walked over to Walsh.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked softly

Walsh just continued to polish the chrome.

"Billy, it's not easy on any of us." Kim said

Walsh stopped and stood up.

"I'm worried about her Kim." Walsh said

"We all are." Kim replied

"Is there any change?" He asked, knowing that Kim had gone up to see her while she was at the hospital.

"No, she's still in the coma. They are hoping that she'll snap out of it." Kim replied

"But can she?" Walsh asked

"I think she will. Taylor's too determined to die now, not on those terms anyway." Kim replied

"Do they think that the seizure did much damage?" Walsh asked

"It's too soon to tell." Kim replied

The conversation got interrupted when the alarm sounded.

"Squad 5-5, Adam 5-5-3 respond for an MVC 123 and Lexington." It called

"Duty calls." Kim said dryly

"Yep." Walsh said as he put on his gear

"_I've got a woman trapped in here!" Taylor yelled as she looked through the iron bars at the panicked woman. "No! Don't do that!"_

_Taylor tried to stop the woman from breaking the window, but it was too late. The room flashed over with the new influx of oxygen. Taylor felt helpless. _

_This had been some first day at her new assignment. She felt like the outcast. Now there was a woman who died because she couldn't get in to save her in time. She looked down to the ground and then slowly made her way to the front of the house. _

_Later, outside she was attempting to start the saw._

"_It pulls hard." Jimmy said_

"_Thanks." Taylor replied_

"_You were right about Danny." Jimmy added, "I didn't want to believe you at first, but you're right." _

"_Thanks, I think." Taylor replied_

"_Give 'um time, they'll warm up to you." Jimmy said of the guys_

"_They don't have a choice." Taylor smiled_

"_See you later." Jimmy added_

"_You take care of yourself Jimmy." Taylor said _

"_I'll be back in no time." He smiled as he walked towards Brooke's waiting car._

_Taylor watched as they drove off, then she put the saw back on the Squad. _

"_They'll warm up to me because I'm not giving up." She said to herself_

"I CAN'T give up!" Taylor thought. "I have to wake up!"

With that she struggled to open her eyes. It took a few moments before she could manage to get both eyes open at once. Then she slowly looked around the room, making eye contact with the nurse who had come in to look over her chart.

"You're awake." The nurse said surprised

Taylor weakly nodded her head.

"I need a doctor in here!" The nurse yelled out.


	6. Awakening

Beth had just left the hospital so she could go home and change clothes when her cell phone rang.

"Yes?" She asked nervously. "She's awake? No, I'll be right in."

Beth called out to the taxi driver.

"I need to return to the hospital. Please hurry and get me there." She said

"No problem." The cabbie replied in broken English.

It was a matter of minutes before they were back at the front doors of the hospital. Beth quickly paid the cabbie and rushed up the steps to the doors. She waited impatiently as the elevator doors opened, and then an agonizing few moments as she made her way up to the ICU. Once the doors opened she rushed up the hall into her daughter's room.

"Alex!" She cried out, "Thank you God! You're awake"

They still hadn't removed the tube because the doctor wanted the results of a chest X-Ray before he would take it out.

Beth took her daughter's hand.

"You had us all scared baby." A tear of happiness fell down her cheek. "But you're okay now. You're going to be okay now."

**Kim and Carlos wheeled their stretcher into the ER. **

"**44 year old male involved in an MVC, minor tenderness to the abdomen." Carlos said **

**They took their patient into the trauma room and transferred care over to the nursing staff. They were wheeling the stretcher out of the trauma room when Nurse Mary Proctor rushed over to him. **

"**She's awake." Mary said**

"**Mary, we just brought in a guy." Carlos replied**

"**No, no! Taylor, Alex is awake." Mary said excitedly**

"**She's awake?" Kim asked**

"**Yeah, about 15 minutes ago." Mary replied**

**Suddenly Carlos and Kim left their stretcher and rushed towards the elevator**

The doctor walked into the room.

"Mrs. Taylor, Alex's X-ray looks good. So we're going to see how she does breathing on her own." Dr. Wagner said

Beth smiled.

"Okay, Alex, on the count of 3 I want you to exhale as forcefully as you can okay? But I don't want you trying to talk too much once I take the tube out. You're throat is going to be really sore. Can you do that for me?" Dr. Wagner asked

Taylor shook her head.

"Okay, good. Now on my count. 1…2…3" He counted and slid the tube out.

Taylor coughed once the tube was out, but she was thankful to be able to breathe on her own. Dr. Wagner wanted to do an exam so he pulled out his penlight and tested her pupils, satisfied with the results he then walked to the foot of the bed.

"Okay Alex, I want you to push on my feet with your hands. Don't let me push you." Dr. Wagner said

He put the palms of his hands against the soles of Taylor's feet. He applied a little pressure.

"Okay Alex, push against my hands." He said

She struggled for a few seconds before shaking her head side ways. Dr. Wagner paused for a moment, looking at Taylor and Beth.

"Can you feel me touching you?" He asked as he moved his hand to her ankle

Taylor's eyes got wide and scared.

"Oh my God!" Beth exclaimed, "You can't feel him touching you can you?"

Taylor shook her head sideways again.

Dr. Wagner did a quick assessment. He placed his hands on her hips, though he knew it should hurt after the surgery. She shook her head again.

He placed his hands in hers.

"Squeeze my hands." He said

Taylor's hands barely moved.

She panicked.

"Alex, just relax. This could be a temporary thing. You can still move your hands a little, so I don't think it's Quadriplegia. Let's give it a little time." Dr. Wagner said

Taylor's panicked eyes looked to her mother.

Kim and Carlos reached the doorway as the doctor was leaving. He smiled slightly at them.

They walked in the room.

"Welcome back!" Kim laughed

"You had us all scared." Carlos said

Suddenly they noticed the lack of excitement and they saw the pain in Taylor's face.

"What's wrong?" Kim asked

"They think that she may be paralyzed." Beth said solemnly

"Damn it!" Carlos said as he brushed his hands through his hair.

"Is there any way it's only temporary?" Kim asked

"They don't know." Beth said

Kim went over to Taylor's bed.

"Hang in there. You can beat this." She said

Taylor could only manage a slight nod.

Kim and Carlos walked out of the room.

"We should call the house and let them know." Carlos said

"Yeah." Kim said preoccupied with thought

Carlos pulled out his cell phone.

"Don't tell them that she's paralyzed and tell them to stay at the house." Kim added

DK answered the phone.

"Squad 55." He said

"DK, it's Carlos. Is Lt. Johnson available?" Carlos asked

"Just a minute." DK turned, "Yo Lieu, Carlos is on the phone for you."

"I'll take it in my office." Lt. Johnson said as he walked into his office with his coffee in hand. "Yeah Carlos?"

"Taylor's awake." Carlos said

"That's great news." Lt. Johnson celebrated, "I'll tell the guys."

"Wait." Carlos urged

"What?" Lt. Johnson asked

"There's a problem." Carlos said

Lt. Johnson closed the door. "What's the problem?"

"She…" Carlos paused, "Taylor's paralyzed."

Lt. Johnson felt like a bag of bricks hit his chest. He wasn't prepared for that news. He hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. He took in a deep breath. He thought about what to say to his squad. After a couple moments he opened the office door, took a deep breath, and walked into the kitchen where they were all seated.

"What's up Lieu?" Jimmy asked

"Taylor woke up this afternoon." Lt. Johnson announced

"That's great! Let's go see her." Lombardo suggested

"I think we need to give Taylor a little time to rest. I mean she's had 3 major surgeries this week, let's give her a little time before we go in." Lt. Johnson replied

"You're right Lieu." DK said, "Let's give her a little time to heal."

Lt. Johnson nodded and returned to his office. The guys moved into the lounge to watch TV. After a few moments Walsh got up and walked to Lt. Johnson's office. He quietly knocked on the door.

"Come in" Lt. Johnson said without looking up

"Can I ask you something?" Walsh asked nervously

"Sure Billy." Lt. Johnson said

Walsh closed the door behind him.

"What are you hiding from us?" Walsh asked

"What do you mean?" Lt. Johnson asked

"You closed the door to talk to Carlos. Carlos didn't just blurt it out on the phone to DK-he asked for you. And you just didn't seem right when you came out to tell us." Walsh pointed out

Lt. Johnson sat forward in his chair.

"You're right." He said, "But what I tell you right now stays between us."

Walsh nodded his head.

"Taylor's paralyzed." Lt. Johnson said and before he gave Walsh time to react he went on. "She woke up this afternoon. But she's paralyzed."

Walsh looked on in disbelief.

"Is it permanent?" Walsh asked

"I hope not." Lt. Johnson said, "I hope not."


	7. Alone in the dark

The lights were dimmed in Taylor's room so that she could get a little sleep. Not that she needed it though. She tried to sleep though, at 1 AM there was nothing better to do. She moaned slightly and looked very uncomfortable.

_There was a loud explosion heard. Suddenly people were screaming and trying to get out._

"_What was that?" Jimmy asked as they ascended the stairs trying to get up to where the damage had been done. _

_People were rushing down the stairs by them, making it hard for them to get through._

"_I don't know." DK said as he looked around_

"_Probably just something aboard the plane." Taylor replied_

"_How the hell do you crash a plane into the World Trade center anyway?" Lombardo asked_

_Lt. Johnson paused for a moment to listen to the radio transmissions. _

"_Guys, hold up. Chief's calling us back." Lt. Johnson said_

_With that the crew started their descent down the stairs. They could hear people screaming._

"_The other tower's been hit!" _

"_What?" Jimmy asked_

_Then they heard the radio call._

"_Marine 6 to Manhattan urgent." _

"_Marine 6 go." _

"_Be advised that you have a second plane into the other tower of the Trade Center. Heavy fire."_

_The firefighters looked at each other. _

_Taylor's father was in the Lobby of the South Tower. When the Squad reached them he looked at them for a moment._

"_We need you to evacuate building 7." Chief Taylor said_

"_Consider it done." Lt. Johnson replied_

_Taylor didn't say a word to her father, nor he to her. They just looked at each other briefly before they turned to leave the building. It took what seemed like forever for them to get over to World Trade Center 7. They had to make their way through so many people and pieces of emergency equipment. _

_They finally reached building 7 and entered to help with the evacuation process. They helped get the kids out of the daycare and then went through to sweep the rest of the building. Then the rumble occurred._

"_What the?" DK asked_

_People began to scream, the South Tower was collapsing._

"_Run!" Lt. Johnson ordered_

_Taylor lingered for a moment, "Daddy." She thought before Walsh grabbed her coat sleeve._

"_We've got to get out of here!" He yelled_

Taylor's eyes opened wide. Her breathing was fast, she was pale, and sweating. The heart monitor started to beep.

"Okay Alex, take a deep breath." She told herself, "It was a nightmare. Only a nightmare."

The nurse came in to check on her.

"Are you okay?" She asked

"I… I had a nightmare." Taylor replied

"You're burning up." The nurse noted.

"I'll be fine." Taylor replied

The nurse took a cool cloth and gently blotted Taylor's forehead and face with it. Once Taylor regained control of her breathing her heart rate returned to normal. The nurse was satisfied and she left Taylor alone in the room.

Taylor was afraid to clothes her eyes again though.

At the firehouse most everyone was in their bunks sleeping, except Walsh. He lay in his bunk with his eyes wide open. He couldn't sleep. He got up and went downstairs to get a glass of milk.

Walsh wasn't the only one in the kitchen though.

"What are you still doing awake?" Kim asked

"I couldn't sleep." Walsh replied

"Neither could I." Kim said

"I know about Taylor." Walsh admitted

"It was so sad." Kim said, "She was scared to death and there's nothing that we could do to help."

Walsh sat down at the table.

"Hopefully it's just a temporary thing though." Walsh said

"Yeah hopefully." Kim replied

Both of them almost jumped out of their skin when the Claxton sounded.

"Squad 5-5, Adam 5-5-3 respond for a vehicle fire 8843 King Street"

"Well, that's us." Walsh said as he sat the glass of milk down on the table

"Yeah." Kim said as she started down the stairs

Taylor sat in her bed, fighting to stay awake. She tried to move her hand.

She stared hard at her left hand.

"Okay, we'll start small, move the fingers first." She said to herself.

She struggled and failed.

"I'm NOT giving up." She urged herself to try harder. After about a minute she managed to bend her fingers slightly.

Pleased with herself she smiled. She wanted to try to move her feet, but that was hopeless. She gave up after about 5 minutes and she faded back away to sleep.

As morning arrived Taylor woke up. Very rarely was she ever up before the sunrise, but this morning she watched out the window as the city was bleached with oranges and yellows. Taylor marveled in the beauty. She took some things for granted, and watching the sunrise was one of those things. She made it her goal to be thankful for the sunrises because as long as the sun rose, that meant she was alive for another day.

The nurse came into Taylor's room just after 8.

"Well Ms. Taylor, would you like some change of scenery?" The nurse asked

"I can't exactly walk you know." Taylor replied

"I know." The nurse answered, "The doctor wants to run some tests today."

"Oh yay. Getting poked and prodded in yet more places that I can't feel." Taylor said with sarcasm

"He wants to try some therapy as well." The nurse said

"Last time I checked, you actually have to be able to move to have therapy." Taylor said with a hint of resentment in her voice.

"And that's exactly the attitude that's not going to help you recover." The nurse said

"Recover?" Taylor asked, "I wouldn't call being stuck in a hospital bed, paralyzed for the rest of my life a recovery. It's more like a punishment."

The nurse just shrugged her shoulders, she didn't like the negative attitude that Taylor had adopted.

"I'll be back in in just a few moments." She said

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." Taylor replied

Taylor stared out the window and contemplated how much more of this she could endure…


	8. The Rock

Jimmy stood at his locker looking at a picture of Taylor, him, and DK after a fire. He smiled slightly. He didn't hear DK walk up behind him.

"That's a good picture." He said

"Yeah, it was." Jimmy replied

"Listen." DK said, "About yesterday."

"DK, I know what you're going to say, but you don't have to." Jimmy paused. "I blame myself for this as much as anyone. I could barely sleep last night half because of the excitement that Taylor woke up and half with the fear that SHE blames me for putting her in that hospital bed."

"But it wasn't your fault." DK replied, "We all know that, and YOU know that. It's just easier to deal with a situation when you can put the blame on someone." DK said

"Thanks." Jimmy replied

Their shift was over but none of them seemed to want to leave the firehouse. It was a sanctuary of sorts to them.

"It's too early for a beer, but does anyone want to go grab some breakfast?" Lombardo asked

Jimmy shrugged, "Sure, I wouldn't mind that."

"Where we going?" Walsh asked

"That little diner on 48th has good food." Lombardo suggested

"Sounds good to me." DK said

The four of them all went to their cars and put their bags away.

"Alright, meet you there." Jimmy said

Lombardo was the first to leave. Jimmy stared at Taylor's Mustang Convertible. She had bought it just a few weeks ago. No one had come to the firehouse to pick it up. Jimmy felt weird seeing the car parked in the same spot, yet Taylor was no where around.

"_Who's that?" DK asked as he noticed a brand new Mustang turn the corner_

"_I don't know." Lombardo said_

_They saw the black convertible pull into the lot._

"_No way." Jimmy and Walsh said as they watched_

_Slowly the door opened and Taylor stood next to the car._

"_Holy shit! Taylor got a Mustang!" Lombardo said_

"_Like the new ride?" Taylor asked as she took off her sunglasses_

"_Like it?" Jimmy asked, "It's a 'stang!" _

"_You bought this?" Walsh asked_

"_Yeah you can't see me in a sports car?" Taylor questioned_

"_Well, no actually." Walsh replied_

"_You got LEATHER?" Jimmy asked_

"_Careful Jimmy, you drool any harder and Taylor's gonna have water spots on her car." DK teased_

"_I never figured you for a sports car, let alone a mustang." Walsh said_

"_Whoa, who's new ride is that?" Carlos asked _

"_Taylor's." DK said_

"_Taylor got a mustang?" Carlos asked in surprise_

"_Yeah that was pretty much my reaction too." Walsh laughed_

Jimmy couldn't help but stare at the car. He then got in his Dodge Ram and drove off.

Taylor was in a special wheel chair. The nurse was pushing her down the hall. Taylor was frustrated by the situation. She hated being in the chair already.

"So where are we going?" Taylor asked

"Therapy." The nurse replied

"I told you that it's worthless." Taylor argued

"And that's the exact attitude that will keep you in the chair for the rest of what pitiful life you choose to live." The nurse snapped

Taylor sat like a chastised little child in the chair. She watched as people walked up the hall around her. They were staring at her. It was bad enough to sulk in her room, but now people could see that she couldn't do anything on her own. That cut through her like a knife.

She saw the opening to the room. And she saw equipment inside the room.

"Surely they don't expect me to be able to do that." She thought to herself

Then she saw a familiar face in the room.

"Lt. Johnson." She said

He turned to her.

"Taylor." He said calmly

"What are you doing here?" She asked

"I figured that I'd come to help give you a little support and encouragement." He replied

"Yeah, or watch as I fail miserably." Taylor quipped

Immediately his face turned sour.

"You've gone through far too much to give up now." He started, "But if you want to quit, then I'll go home. You'd be turning your back on everyone who loves and cares about you. Do you know how painful it is for me to see you in that chair? Do you?"

"No." She replied

"Taylor, after 9/11 YOU were my rock. Your father saved all of us that day, whether we knew it then or not. Watching you day in and day out until he was found- I admired you… hell we all admired you. Because you wouldn't give up. The Alex Taylor I know is not a quitter. But apparently the one in that chair is." He scolded

Tears welled up in her eyes. He was right, she had never given up. She fought to wake up from the coma after fighting to stay alive.

"Have they told you what you went through to get here?" Lt. Johnson asked

"Not exactly." Taylor replied

"You had fractured your femur, pelvis, multiple ribs, and you broke your back. You suffered a seizure while you were in the coma, and you almost died just from the surgeries. You had a collapsed lung, a lacerated liver, and you ruptured your spleen." He admitted, "The reason that no one told you is because your mother had to make the difficult choice to sign a "Do not resuscitate order" rather than make you suffer through the beating that you would have gotten if you coded."

The tears were now streaming down Taylor's cheeks.

"So what do I have to do?" She asked the trainer

Lt. Johnson just smiled.

"That's my girl." He said…


	9. Greenhouse

Lt. Johnson helped to encourage Taylor through her first day or therapy. It consisted of using what movement she could get from her hands to squeeze a rubber ball. They also used a serious of electrodes to help provide some electrical stimulation to her legs.

"All done." The therapist said

"That's it?" Taylor asked

"You suffered a major injury, and recovering from it doesn't happen all at once." The therapist replied. "Give it time; I think that we could have you walking again."

"I don't have time. I want to get better, get out of here." Taylor replied

"Take it easy Taylor. You'll get out of here, but like he said it will take time." Lt. Johnson said

"I'm not going to be an invalid the rest of my life. You can kill me now if that's how this is going to end up." Taylor said honestly

"Well, as tempting as the offer sounds- I think there's quite a few people who want you to stay around." The therapist replied.

Lt. Johnson smiled as he walked back down the hallway beside Taylor's wheelchair.

"I guess I should say thank you." Taylor said

"For what?" Lt. Johnson asked

"For coming and supporting me." Taylor replied

"Your mother figured that it would be better for me to be here than her. But I'll admit that it was painful to watch. I wanted to help you so much, but you've got to learn to do this on your own. It'll get better." He admitted

"Yeah, I suppose." Taylor replied

With that they paused in front of the doorway to her room.

"Well, I'm going to go home and spend some precious time with my family. Taylor, you've once again taught me that our family- and extended family- is the most precious thing that we can have. And if that means balancing my time between home, here and the firehouse, I will." Lt. Johnson smiled

"I don't know what to say." Taylor admitted

"You don't have to say a word." Lt. Johnson replied as he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "You just keep your chin up okay?"

Taylor nodded and watched as he walked away.

"He's right you know?" The nurse said

"I know." Taylor replied

As they entered her room it looked like she had just entered a florist shop.

"Where did all of those come from?" She asked

"Apparently, you are a very popular person." The nurse replied, "I just wish my husband would send me flowers on our anniversary."

Taylor let out a slight laugh.

"Now see girl, that's how you have to look at it. The more positive you are, the better you'll feel."

"Do you mind leaving me in this chair for a while?" Taylor asked, "Laying in that bed gets kind of old."

"That's the attitude to have." The nurse smiled, "I'll be in to check on you in a bit."

Taylor sat admiring the flowers and cards that were placed around her room. It was nice to see that she had something to brighten up her life a little. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Taylor said

"Looks like a greenhouse in here." Ty Davis said

"Hey." Taylor smiled slightly

"Now come on, you should smile bigger than that. It'd be a shame to not show those pearly whites." Davis grinned

"You always know how to make me laugh don't you?" Taylor asked

Davis was slightly uncomfortable with the situation. He held a small Teddy Bear in his hands.

"What's that?" Taylor asked trying to help ease the silence

"Oh, it's just a Teddy Bear, you know. Like for when you just…" He broke off his sentence. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I can use my hands a little." Taylor replied

"I can go if you want." Davis said

"Why?" Taylor asked

"I just wasn't sure how comfortable you'd be, you know with us seeing you like that." Davis said

"I've got to get used to it myself. But I can't deal with the pity that everyone wants to give me." Taylor stopped, "Lt. Johnson was in here this morning and I started to say 'I can't' and I discovered that that was a huge mistake. He wouldn't accept that answer. So I've got to accept the fact that I'm stuck in this chair, like it or not, and unless I sever myself from the world- people are going to see me like this."

Davis nodded his head. "That's the attitude to have then. It's just weird. I mean seeing you in the chair…"

Davis felt like he was stumbling over his words.

"I'm sorry Alex, I got to go." Davis said suddenly, the discomfort of the situation had finally gotten to him. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah, thanks for stopping by. It was nice to have another familiar face." Taylor replied

With that Davis left Taylor in the room alone. She stared at the bear that he had brought. She thought back to when they were dating and she had come to the hospital to see him after he was shot. She realized how much she hated to visit people in the hospital, and she didn't blame him for not wanting to be around her.

Finally, her mom returned.

"How are you doing today Alex?" Beth asked

"I've been better." Taylor replied

"My lands you've gotten a lot of flowers." Beth remarked, "Who are they from?"

Taylor stared at her mother.

"How would I know? Remember, I can't use my arms." Taylor replied

Her mom walked over to the first bunch.

"Well these are from the firehouse." She said as she looked at the card.

Beth went to each set of flowers, some were friends, and others were from family members. It made Taylor feel like she had all of the love and support that she needed to get through this. But she realized that there were going to be a lot of tough days ahead of her. So she made it her goal to take each day as it came to her. And if that meant that she had to try a little harder, that's what she was going to do because she wasn't giving up…


	10. A Huge Setback

After her mother left the hospital, Taylor decided to go to sleep. The nurse came in and put her into bed. It made Taylor feel like a little kid all over again- and she hated the feeling. Slowly, she faded off into what started out as a light sleep and gradually grew deeper.

_Taylor was by a pool, just relaxing and basking in the sun. It felt good to get a break from the city. After all, she needed a vacation. She decided that she was going to take a dip in the water and she slipped into the pool. Suddenly it felt like there were weights holding her legs down and she drifted into deeper water. She fought to keep her head above water. Her arms felt like they wouldn't work and the more she tried to keep her head out of the water, the more the weight of the water drug her down. She gasped for air and slowly she was submerged, unable to call out or resurface until she blacked out._

Taylor's body began to shake and quiver. It was apparent that she was having a nightmare. Her breathing became faster and faster. Then she entered a full fledged seizure. She was not in control of her body as it shook violently in her bed. With each movement her body edged closer to the side of the bed, and with no one around to stop her she hit the floor and began thrashing around like a fish out of water. A nurse who happened to be walking up the hall saw Taylor on the floor.

"I need a doctor in here!" She cried out as she rushed into the room to try to prevent Taylor from injuring herself.

Additional nurses and the doctor rushed into the room. Then, as suddenly as it began, the seizing stopped.

"I want a CT Scan STAT!" The doctor ordered, "And someone get her mother on the phone." He added as he began to do a quick assessment of Taylor's condition.

He looked at the nurses.

"Come on Ms. Taylor, you've got to help us here." He said under his breath

They were able to get Taylor to CT scan, her body lie still on the table after they had administered medicine to hopefully prevent any further seizures. After the scan they moved her back to the ICU and watched and waited.

Beth Taylor rushed to the hospital. They hadn't told her much on the phone other than the fact that Taylor had suffered a set back and she needed to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. When she reached the ICU a nurse asked her to be seated and she would get the doctor.

After about 5 minutes a well dressed doctor came out to speak with her.

"Mrs. Taylor?" The man asked

"Yes?" Beth stood up, noticeably worried.

"I'm Dr. Elliott." He said. "Let's go some place a little more private shall we?"

He led Beth to the same room that she had been brought into before. He motioned for her to sit as he closed the door.

"Earlier today your daughter had another seizure. We got a CT scan afterwards and it shows that there is what we call a Sub-dural Hemotoma. Which means that she has blood pooling in her brain. We put a tube down her throat to breathe for her. And we are also monitoring for electrical activity." He paused, "As I'm sure you know, the next 24 hours are going to be crucial. I'm sorry that I can't give you any more definitive answers, but I think that you need to spend time with your daughter."

Beth's reaction was like being hit in the chest with a bag of bricks. Tears began to stream down her face. It seemed that now the situation was far worse than it had been in the week following her daughter's injury.

She followed the nurse to Taylor's bedside.

"Is there anyone you would like us to call for you?" The nurse asked

"My son." Beth replied, "He should be here as well."

"Do you have his number?" The nurse asked

She nodded and fumbled around with the piece of paper to write down Adam's phone number. Then she looked at her daughter, once again hooked up to all of the machines with tubes running every which way.

She wished that it weren't her daughter lying in front of her. Taylor had gone through so much. Just when it looked like the worst was over, this setback came and knocked her back down again. But Taylor was a fighter and Beth believed that she would recover.

"Why am I being so selfish?" Beth asked herself, "What more do you have to go through? I can't even imagine the rolls being reversed."

Beth sat in self pity. Her daughter was in a frail state and at this point Beth doubted that she would make it through the night. She couldn't blame her daughter for giving up the fight, but deep down she did blame her for not fighting harder. It was agonizing sitting in the ICU.

It took about an hour before Adam rushed in. He was still in his scrubs because he had been called at work.

"Mom, what happened?" Adam asked

He escorted Beth out to the waiting room where Beth explained what had occurred. Adam's heart sank as he looked back towards his little sister's hospital bed.

"I know how hard this is." He became choked up, "But mom, maybe it's best if she did…" He couldn't bring himself to say it

Beth cried harder as she fell into her son's arms.

"I can't lose her too Adam." She cried, "I can't."

Adam cried with her, "I know mom, I don't think I could either."

Walsh wandered up the hallway looking for Taylor's room. When he reached it he was shocked to see that it was empty. He walked up to the nurse's station.

"Excuse me." He said as a nurse looked up.

"May I help you?" She asked

"Can you tell me where Alex Taylor's room is? I stopped by where I thought it was, but the room's empty." He said

The nurse's face dropped. She thought for a moment and watched his confused expression.

"She was moved to the ICU." The nurse said

"ICU? I thought that she was doing well?" Walsh was confused

"There was a problem this morning." The nurse replied

"Is she okay?" Walsh asked, the concern showing in his voice

"I don't know. I can show you to the ICU." The nurse offered

"No, I know how to get there." Walsh replied, "Thank you."

He turned and walked back down the hallway. As he walked he took out his cell phone and dialed.

"Lt. Johnson?" His voice cracked. "It's Billy." There was a pause. "There's a problem with Alex." After another pause he said, "Maybe you should meet me at Mercy in the ICU."

He closed his phone and headed upstairs. As he approached the ICU waiting area he saw Taylor's mom and brother. Both of them appeared as though they had been crying. He took a deep breath and entered the waiting room. He didn't want to feel like he was intruding.

Beth saw him and cried out, "Billy!"

He rushed over to her.

"What's wrong? I came to visit and found out she got moved up here." He asked as she hugged him

The look on Beth and Adam's faces let Walsh know that it was not good news.

"She had a seizure, and her brain is bleeding." Beth replied, "They're not sure if she's going to survive the next 24 hours."

Walsh's heart sank as Beth burst into tears. He looked over to Adam, who was also crying. It was hard to fight back the emotions and Walsh too had tears streaming down his face. Alex Taylor was one of his best friends, and losing her would be a huge loss to him.

It wasn't too long before Lt. Johnson arrived.

"What's wrong?" He asked almost out of breath from the run that he made to get to them

"Taylor's not doing good Lieu." Walsh said

Lt. Johnson searched for words.

"She was fine when I left here this morning!" He exclaimed

"She took a downward turn." Walsh added

Lt. Johnson didn't want to believe it, but Beth shook her head. Lt. Johnson sat down in a chair.

"What's the outlook?" He asked

"Grim." Adam said

Lt. Johnson ran his hand through his thinning hair.

"Billy, can you hold it together enough to call everyone?" He asked

Walsh nodded.

"Okay, Beth, is it okay with you if we call the Squad?" Lt. Johnson asked

Beth nodded in agreement; it was times like these when the extended family could offer love and support. And she knew that they would want to be there.

The first call that Walsh made was to Kim. He got her answering machine.

"Yeah Kim, its Billy. When you get this message, you need to get to Mercy. Taylor's not doing well."

He ended that call and immediately tried Jimmy.

"Jimmy?" Walsh asked, "Yeah it's me. Listen you need to hurry down to Mercy…"

The same call got made to everyone on the Squad. After about 5 minutes he had either talked to everyone or left a message. Now there was one last thing to do- pray…


	11. The Prayer

The waiting room was crowed with Taylor's second family. Everyone was on edge, and got nervous every time a doctor or nurse walked out through the waiting room to go on their break.

It was just after midnight when one of the doctors walked out into the waiting room. He sighed slightly as he looked around the room. Some of the firefighters were asleep, a couple reading magazines for the tenth time in a row, or some chatting amongst themselves.

"Mrs. Taylor." The doctor said quietly

It was Dr. Wagner again.

Lt. Johnson slowly stirred beside Beth. Adam sat on the edge of his seat.

Doctor Wagner looked around as he bent down in front of Beth.

"Is there any change?" She asked

"I'm afraid that we've been watching her EEG scans and there's some bad news." He said

"What is it?" Beth asked

"They show that there is very little electrical activity in your daughter's brain." He paused, "I'm afraid that she'll never wake from this coma, and even if she did, there is no way that she could speak or move."

"So she's a vegetable?" Beth asked

"That's how it appears." Dr. Wagner replied

Beth tried to hold back the tears.

"So now what?" Beth asked

"You have a very difficult choice to make Mrs. Taylor." Dr. Wagner replied

Beth tried not to think about it, and neither did Lt. Johnson.

"Mrs. Taylor, I ask you to consider your daughter's quality of life." Dr. Wagner said

"You just want me to give up on my daughter and pull the plug so to speak." Beth asked

"Mrs. Taylor, your daughter will be fed through a tube, her breathing will be done by a machine. Do you really want her to live the rest of her life, 30, 40, or 50 years like that?" The Dr. asked

Beth couldn't hold in the tears any longer. Lt. Johnson put his arms around her.

"Beth, I am here for you no matter what decision you make." He said

"I know Francis." She replied, "But is it fair that I should have to make this decision?"

"No it's not fair. This whole situation is not fair." Lt. Johnson replied

"I don't want to let her go." Beth said

"I know you don't Beth, none of us do." Lt. Johnson replied, "But is it fair to keep her holding on like that?"

By now everyone in the room was waiting anxiously for the decision. No one wanted to see Taylor suffer the rest of her life in a hospital bed, never waking up. But none of them was ready to give Taylor up either.

"Can I see her?" Beth asked

Dr. Wagner nodded.

Everyone watched as Beth left the room with Adam. They were sure that it was so that they could say their goodbyes.

Lt. Johnson stood up and looked at everyone in the room.

"I guess you already know the situation." He said grimly. "Please, pray for them. This is not an easy thing for any parent to have to go through. And I, as much as any one of you would give anything to trade places with Taylor so that this didn't have to go through this. But she won't be suffering any more."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Some St. Patrick's Day this is starting out as." DK said trying to hold in his emotions.

"Taylor always loved the parade." Walsh said choking back his voice

Lombardo patted him on the back. "I don't think I can march in it now." He said

"Guys, Taylor would want us to march in it." Jimmy noted

Lt. Johnson nodded in agreement.

"It's something that we can do for Taylor." Kim cried as she said it

**Beth slowly approached her daughter's motionless figure. She looked like nothing more than a doll lying in the bed. **

**She started to cry as she sat down. **

"**Alex honey." She said softly. "I love you. I am so proud of you dear. I wish you weren't in this position though. It was my biggest fear that you would end up like your father. I prayed that prayer your Dad always prayed with you when you were a child. **

**'When I am called to duty, God, wherever flames may rage;**

**Give me the strength to save some life, whatever be its age.**

**Help me embrace a little child before it is too late;**

**Or save an older person from the horrors of that fate.**

**Enable me to be alert, and hear the weakest shout,**

**And quickly and efficiently put the fire out.**

**I want to fill my calling and to give the best in me;**

**To guard my every neighbor and protect his property.**

**And if according to Your will I am to give my life,**

**Please bless with Your protecting hand,**

**My children and my wife.'**

"**I always thought that things would turn out differently. But you were never the one to take the easy way out of anything. You had to be just like your Daddy." Beth smiled slightly as she wiped away a tear from her cheek. **

"**But now you're going to be with your Daddy. It's going to be okay. I'm sorry honey, but you're going to be okay again." She cried, "I love you honey. I don't want to say good bye. I love you."**

**Behind her Adam cried. He couldn't believe that he had to say goodbye to his baby sister. Then he knelt next to her bed. **

"**I couldn't protect you from this." He said, "I'm sorry Alex. I couldn't make you do anything else, but I wish I could have protected you from this." **

**He paused for a moment, "I don't want you to leave Alex. Please, don't leave." He paused again. "But it's selfish of me to ask you to stay in that condition. It's not fair to you. You were always so full of energy and life, but now… I love you Alex." **

**He stood up and backed away, tears streaming down his face.**

Out in the waiting room the Squad was just waiting for Beth and Adam to return.

Lt. Johnson pulled his Rosary out and made the sign of the Cross. Quietly he prayed. Then he could hear Walsh behind him.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven."

By now everyone had joined in.

"Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."

**Beth and Adam watched as Dr. Wagner unhooked the breathing tube. A few seconds later an alarm sounded as a solid beep. Beth buried her head in Adam's chest. Dr. Wagner then turned off the alarm. He looked over to Beth and Adam and then he looked to the nurse.**

"**Time of death, 1:03." He said **

**Beth let out a wail as she watched the nurse carefully pull a sheet over her daughter's lifeless body. **

Lt. Johnson looked up with tears in his eyes and nodded in approval. Then he continued on.

"Hail Mary…"

Midway through the prayer Beth walked back into the waiting room. Everyone stood up and Lt. Johnson approached her.

"I'm sorry." He said as he put his arms around her

It seemed like his voice was so far away but Beth could hear Lt. Johnson.

"Beth." He said softly.

She barely moved.

"Beth wake up, the doctor is coming out." He said

Beth sat up.

"It was just a dream." She said as she watched the doctor approach.

He had a clipboard in his hand.

"Mrs. Taylor?" He asked…


	12. Luck ofthe Irish

"Alex it's time to wake up." Her father said

"Daddy?" Taylor asked

"Yes sweetie, it's me." He smiled

"But why are you here?" Taylor asked

"Does a father have to have a reason to see his daughter?" He asked in return

"Well, no. But Daddy, I've missed you." She replied

"I know honey. But I'm never far away." He responded

"I never got to say thank you." Taylor said

"For what?" He asked

"You saved me and my Squad." Taylor said

"I didn't save you. You guys did that yourselves." He returned

"But you sent us to 7."

"Because I needed good firefighters over there." He said

"Why are you here? Am I dying?" She asked

Her father laughed, "No, you've got far too much to live for for that."

"What's going on then?" Taylor asked, "Why can't I feel anything?"

"Because you're dreaming." He smiled

"Dreaming?" She asked

He nodded, "And I'm here to guide you through your dreams, your future."

Suddenly she could see everyone standing in there dress uniforms. There were news cameras all around.

"Today marks a historic day for the FDNY." The reporter said. "Today the first female Chief is being sworn in. Alex Taylor, the daughter of a late Battalion Chief, is being sworn in as a Battalion Chief in Manhattan. Coworkers have commented that she was always working to raise the bar higher for female achievements. She joined the department 16 years ago and worked in firehouses in Manhattan, later becoming a Lieutenant in the Bronx. She returned to Manhattan as a Captain. And now today, she is being promoted to Battalion 24 as a Chief."

Taylor turned to her father, "I'm going to walk again? And then do all of that?"

He nodded. "My daughter can do anything she puts her mind to." He smiled

"But that would mean that I would have to give up so much." She lamented

"But you never would." He smiled

Soon she saw herself in a hospital room. There were nurses around her.

"Okay, are you ready to become a mother?" The nurse asked

Taylor nodded. The doctor quickly examined her.

"You're fully dilated." He said

"I'm right here for you honey." Her husband said

"_I'm going to marry Billy?" She asked herself_

"_He always had a thing for you." Her dad smiled. "I would have been glad to have him as a son-in-law."_

"Okay, push." The doctor said

Taylor screamed as she pushed.

"You're doing great!" Walsh said

Taylor glared at him.

"One more big push." The doctor said

Again Taylor pushed and within seconds the sound of a baby crying filled the room…

**The nurse carefully watched Taylor. She noticed that Taylor was trying to move a little. **

"**Doctor Wagner." She called**

"**What is it?" He asked as he walked into the room**

"**I think she's trying to move." The nurse said**

**Doctor Wagner looked for a moment. **

"**I'll be damned!" He said, "She's a fighter." He smiled**

**He took a look at the EEG results. **

"**She's dreaming." He smiled**

"**That's great!" The nurse said**

"**All that's left is for her to open her eyes." He remarked**

"**It looks like she will now." The nurse replied**

"**Yes, it doesn't look like it's a case of IF anymore, but WHEN. I need to go talk to her mother." He handed the chart back to the nurse and left the room.**

The members of the Squad were scattered about the room. Kim was asleep with her head on Jimmy's shoulder. Walsh and DK were talking quietly with each other; each of them feared that if they went to sleep the doctor would come out. Lombardo sat a few seats away sleeping. Carlos was asleep in another chair. Lt. Johnson was quietly praying the Rosary while Beth slept beside him. Adam shifted slightly in his chair while managing to stay asleep.

Lt. Johnson looked up and noticed Dr. Wagner walking towards them.

"Beth." He said softly

She barely moved

"Beth." He said again. "Wake up. The doctor is coming out."

Beth slowly sat up and watched as Dr. Wagner walked over to her. He had a clipboard in his hand.

"Mrs. Taylor." He said

"Is there any change?" Beth asked, fearing the worst.

He smiled. "I'm happy to say that there is."

She tried to hold in her excitement.

"We saw her making some purposeful movements, but she hasn't opened her eyes. However, her EEG shows some good signs." He held up a slip of paper that looked like a bunch of scribble marks. "These right here show that she's actually dreaming."

Beth smiled.

"That's good news then."

"Yes it is good news." Dr. Wagner smiled. "It's now just a question of when your daughter will wake up. I think the worst is over."

Beth was overjoyed. She hugged Dr. Wagner. "Thank you!" She cried, "Thank you."

Everyone else had awakened during the news and they shared a gladness that it looked like the worst was over.

DK looked at his watch.

"I think maybe we should all go get a little sleep before the parade." He said

"I almost forgot about the parade." Lombardo replied

"I almost forgot that it was St. Patrick's Day." Jimmy smiled

"It just doesn't seem right that we're marching without Taylor." Lombardo added

Lt. Johnson looked at his Squad.

"I know that Taylor would want you all to go and enjoy yourselves at the parade. After all, she loved it." He said

"Yeah, Taylor was so excited to march this year." Walsh added

"Go, get some sleep. I'll see you in a couple hours." Lt. Johnson said

With that everyone made their way to Beth to show their support and then they left.

"That's a great bunch you have there Francis." Beth said

"The best." He smiled, "They'd go to the ends of the earth if they thought it would help."

"I know." Beth replied, "Why don't you go and get some sleep too?"

Lt. Johnson really didn't want to leave the hospital. "I'm fine right here." He replied

"Just like Angus." She smiled

"She's going to be fine." Lt. Johnson smiled

"All she has to do is wake up." Beth smiled

Lt. Johnson nodded.

"Miracles do happen." Adam added

"How'd you get two strong kids?" Lt. Johnson laughed

"Luck." Beth smiled

"Luck of the Irish." Lt. Johnson smiled. "Luck of the Irish."


	13. Frustration Sets In

The Squad had gathered in Haggerty's after the parade. After all, you could only get green beer one day a year. It was crowded, but that didn't stop them a bit.

"To St. Patty's Day!" Lombardo said as he raised his glass.

The rest of the Squad joined in unison "Here, here!"

Their glasses clinked together and then they swallowed gulps of their brew. DK sat his glass on the bar.

"This ain't right." He said

"What's wrong?" Walsh asked

"Taylor's not here." DK said

"Yeah it is a little…" Jimmy paused, "Quiet!"

They all laughed for a few moments, then suddenly returned to their thoughts. Jimmy stared at his beer. Walsh tapped his fingers on the bar. It was a few moments before they began talking again.

The conversation turned to sports and the lack of winter weather, but it turned back to Taylor.

"I'm going to go see if there's any change." Walsh said as he got up and paid his tab.

"They'll call us." Jimmy said

"What like they did when she got put back in the ICU?" Walsh asked

"He's right." DK admitted

Soon they all got up and headed towards Mercy.

**Adam brought Beth a cup of coffee.**

"**Black just like you like." He smiled**

"**Thanks." Beth said**

"**This watching and waiting is hard." Adam added**

"**Tell me about it." Beth replied**

"**Is this how it felt to you after the towers collapsed?" Adam asked**

"**No, that was a totally different feeling. Your dad wasn't lying in front of me not able to talk to me or open his eyes. This actually feels worse." Beth said**

"**I'm sorry I brought it up." Adam replied as he watched a tear fall down his mother's face. **

**She put her hand on his, "No, it's okay." She smiled. "Each day it hurts a little more than the last. But I realized that I have to move on with my life and that helps me get through. When they called me and told me that Alex had been hurt, that was the sharpest pain that I could have ever felt. I know that it's the nature of the job, but to realize that I lost my husband, and now almost my daughter- it scares me to death." **

**Adam hadn't realized how much it hurt until his mother said those words. It was a sudden realization, almost a hatred that he felt that Alex had followed their father into firefighting. **

**The nurse walked out into the waiting room.**

"**Mrs. Taylor." She said tentatively **

"**Yes?" Beth asked as she stood up**

**The nurse smiled. "Your daughter is awake."**

**Beth almost jumped for joy, it was great news. She rushed back the hallway to see Taylor awake in the bed. They had removed the ventilator.**

"**Hey." Taylor said hoarsely **

"**You had me so scared." Beth said as she hugged her daughter**

"**What happened?" Taylor asked**

"**Well dear, you had a seizure and you fell and then you ended up in the ICU." Beth said**

**Taylor didn't remember any of it. She barely remembered that she was paralyzed as she tried to move her hand to touch her mother's. She looked down in discouragement.**

**Beth held back her emotions. **

"**I guess this is something I have to get used to." Taylor resigned **

"**You can get better. That officer, what was her name?" Beth asked**

"**Yokas" Taylor replied**

"**Yeah, she regained the ability to walk." Beth said**

"**But she also could use her arms." Taylor snapped**

"**It's normal to be angry honey." Beth replied**

"**Angry? This isn't anger… its frustration." Taylor replied, "I'll probably never walk again, or be able to feed myself, or use the bathroom myself, all my independence is gone. I'll never be a firefighter again… Pardon me for not being happy about the situation." **

**Beth was speechless. Her daughter had never spoken out to her like that before. And she never even thought of some of the points that Alex had brought up. **

"**I'm sorry." Beth said**

"**I don't want people to feel sorry for me." Taylor said. "It only makes it worse."**

**Beth looked down. **

"**Oh, and tell the guys, that I appreciate their support, but I'd like to be left alone right now. I can't take them seeing me like this." Taylor said**

"**They're your family." Beth reminded her**

"**I know, but I have to get used to this myself before I can see them. It hurts more than you know mom. It hurts." Taylor said, "In all honesty, I'd rather be dead."**

"**I'm sorry you feel that way." Beth said, "But you said it yourself. You'll have to get used to it." **

**Beth was angry at her daughter for the comment. It was very selfish in her opinion. Each member of her Squad would give anything to see Taylor be okay, but Taylor was turning her back on them. Beth just hoped that they would understand. **


	14. Days Gone By

Lt. Johnson was waiting in the waiting room when the Squad walked in.

"How is she Lieu?" Walsh asked

"She's awake." He replied

"Great!" Kim replied

"You don't look too great Lieu." DK noted

"Taylor doesn't want any visitors right now." Lt. Johnson replied

They all looked at each other.

"What?" Jimmy asked

"She's having a tough time dealing with the situation. Please respect that." Lt. Johnson said, "Don't be upset with her though. She just needs a little space to figure it all out."

"This does seem like it'd be really rough for anyone to go through." Walsh noted

Lt. Johnson nodded and it looked like everyone understood and respected Taylor's wishes- even if it hurt them to not be able to visit with her.

"Can you give her a message though?" Jimmy asked

"Sure, if she'll listen." Lt. Johnson said

"Tell her that we are all here, and we'll wait however long it takes for her." Jimmy paused, "We're not leaving her alone in this. She will ALWAYS be one of us."

"She helps to make this squad whole." Lombardo added

"And if she ever needs us, we'll be there anytime day or night." DK added to it as everyone else nodded in agreement.

Lt. Johnson smiled proudly. His Squad had just given him the best feeling in the world. They were true to their word, he knew that. They wouldn't let Taylor down. Nothing in the world could stop them from being there for her when she needed them. They'd been through a lot together and this was just one more bump in the road to them.

A month later:

The days were excruciatingly long to Taylor. She could see them pass through the window, but couldn't get up and see out into them. A thunderstorm came through one evening and she was surprisingly struck by the power and magnitude of it. It was something that she now had a lot of time to think about- whether she wanted to or not.

The flowers and the cards kept coming to her. She went to therapy every day- each day hoping that maybe she would be able to move on her own again. Being trapped in a bed, fed and bathed by someone else, was frustrating. There she was in the prime of her life one day and then the next a painful reality that she was an invalid unable to care for herself. That's what happened to old people, not a 30 year old.

She thought for a moment about the squad.

"I wonder how they are doing." She said, for the first time she realized that this was affecting them as much as it was affecting her.

"I wonder who they got to replace me." She thought.

**The guys were all sitting around in the lounge of the fire house. They were joking and carrying on like always when Lt. Johnson entered the room followed by a man that they had never seen before. **

"**Jimmy, Lombardo, DK, and Walsh." Lt. Johnson pointed to each of the firefighters as he called out their names. **

**The man behind him nodded as he scanned the room.**

"**Who's that Lieu?" Jimmy looked up and asked**

"**He's our new firefighter." Lt. Johnson said**

"**Whoa! Taylor's gettin' replaced?" Lombardo protested**

"**He don't look like no probie to me." DK added**

"**Settle down." Lt. Johnson demanded. "As much as I want Taylor to get back here, we all know that realistically it's not gonna happen. So this is who we got to fill the hole."**

**The firefighter stood, somewhat in shock that the reception wasn't friendlier. **

"**You got a name?" Walsh asked**

"**Davidson." The man said**

"**This is Shane Davidson." Lt. Johnson said, "Coming to use from Engine Co. 199."**

"**Engine company boys don't always make good Squad company men." Jimmy cracked**

"**That's ENOUGH!" Lt. Johnson slammed his hand down on the table. "I'm not going to have him ridiculed because he's sitting in the seat that used to be occupied by Taylor. It's been over a month since the accident and we can't keep going out light. So if you have a problem with the fact that there's a new person in this firehouse, then I invited you to come into my office and fill out your transfer papers because I'm not going to have this bullshit bickering in MY house!"**

**Each member of the squad sat in shock. No one dared to say a word; rather they just looked at each other. **

"**Jimmy, since you've decided to be so friendly, why don't you show Shane upstairs and get him situated with a bunk and a locker- and that's not a suggestion." Lt. Johnson said as he walked out of the room.**

**Jimmy and everyone else got up out of their chairs. **

"**This way." Jimmy said**

**He led Shane up the stairs and everyone else followed. **

**Jimmy pointed at the bunks. **

"**These 4 are taken; you can have any other bunk in here." Jimmy said**

"**EXCEPT the one by the window." Walsh said. "That's Taylor's."**

**Everyone else nodded in agreement. **

**Shane looked around the room and then found a bunk over in another corner.**

"**That one taken?" He asked**

"**No." Lombardo said**

**Shane walked over and put his stuff down on the bunk. **

"**I'm not trying to take her place." He said**

**The only response he got was a cold stare. **

"**Not like you could ever do it anyway." Lombardo cracked**

"**I'm not going to force you guys to like me, but it sure as hell would make our jobs a whole lot easier if you would quit the stare of death and try to be a little more hospitable." Shane replied as he unpacked his bags **

Taylor watched the storm rage on outside. It was nights like this that made the old firehouse seem kind of creepy. But she didn't miss the soaking wet turnout gear or the idiots that couldn't drive there cars in the rain.

She saw the flash of red and white lights and realized that it was an ambulance bringing someone else into the hospital.

"God I need to get out of here." She told herself. "I can't take this the rest of my life."

She looked at the table beside her bed and wanted a drink but there wasn't anyone around her. She tried to press the call button, but the remote was out of reach for her fingers. Then without even realizing it, she moved her hand and grasped the remote.

She blinked in amazement.

"I just moved my arm!" She said to herself. "I moved my arm!"


	15. Common Bonds

"I moved my arm!" Taylor laughed, "I moved my arm!"

The nurse came running into the room to see what the trouble was. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that Taylor was in fact using her left arm.

"I'm going to go get the doctor." The nurse said

Taylor laughed out of relief and then tried to move her right arm as well. She tried to put her right hand in her lap and tears of joy streamed down her face when she was able to slowly do so.

"It was only temporary." She thought.

The doctor entered the room.

"Let's see it." He smiled

Taylor clasped her hands and put them in her lap.

"Well I'll be." The doctor smiled, "Very few patients ever have that kind of success in these situations. Can you feel or move your legs?"

Taylor concentrated hard and tried to move her legs but grew frustrated with the lack of results. The doctor could see the frustration on her face.

"Okay, one step at a time. You're moving your arms again so that was apparently only a temporary thing. We'll continue to go through the treatments and hopefully we'll get your legs going again and you can walk out of here."

Taylor nodded in disappointment.

The doctor smiled and patted her on the leg, but she couldn't feel it.

"Small victories Ms. Taylor. Small victories." He said before he left the room.

"Easy for him to say." She said to herself. "He isn't lying in this bed."

**Shane Davidson walked over to the bunk that was Taylor's. He looked at some of the photos that were stuck on the outside of her locker door. He studied them, looking for how he could perhaps gain acceptance in the squad. **

"**I know what you're going through." He said to one of the photos with her in it. **

**He looked at his arms that had a few burn scars on them and he smiled slightly. **

"**We've never met, but we have more in common than you realize." **

**He walked back to his bunk; his steps had a slight limp. He took a picture out of his bag. It showed him and a couple other guys in desert camo. His smiled shinned a sparkling white on his tanned face. He sat down and starred at the picture in his hands. A small tear trickled down his face. **

**He didn't realize that he was being watched though. Walsh stood silently at the top of the stairs. He wasn't sure what to say. So he silently approached.**

"**You were in the military?" Walsh asked**

**Shane was slightly startled; he wiped his face quickly before turning to face Walsh. **

"**Yeah, the Marines." Shane replied**

**Walsh wasn't sure what to say next so he decided that the best course of action was to let Shane speak. **

**After a few moments of silence Shane smiled. **

"**These guys in this picture..." He said. "They were my brothers. Jacob and Tony. We grew up in the same neighborhood. When we graduated high school we decided to join the Marines, never figuring that we'd be split up. I moved around a good bit. Spent some time in the Pacific. That's where I was when the terrorist attacks occurred. Tony was in New York at the time on leave visiting some of his family. Decided to go and see the Towers that morning." **

**Walsh could see where this conversation was going. **

"**His brother worked on the 87th floor in Tower 2. They were both there that morning. Those bastards killed them." Shane choked up. "Days afterwards, we watched the news, we knew we were going to Afghanistan. I waited to hear from him. Then I got an e-mail from my mom saying that Jacob was dead. I swore that I'd get revenge." He stopped again**

"**I'm sorry." Walsh said**

"**You've got nothing to be sorry for believe me. I feel sorry for the loss you guys suffered. I saw the plaques downstairs. 343 brothers is a lot to lose in the same day." Shane replied**

**Walsh nodded.**

"**That's where I got re-united with Tony. We were stationed at the same base." He stopped. "We got sent to Iraq together, in the search for Saddam. We were stationed together again." **

**Walsh watched with a new respect for the man that they had treated so unfairly earlier. **

"_**Man I miss home." Tony said**_

"_**Yeah, mom's hot homemade apple pie." Shane smiled**_

"_**I almost forgot how good a cook your mom was until you said that." Tony laughed**_

"_**We'll be eating it again in no time. Figure Saddam can't hold out much longer." Shane said arrogantly. **_

"_**Not with the two of us on his tail." Tony laughed**_

_**The Humvee they were riding in passed another one and a couple of other armored military vehicles.**_

"**_I can't wait to get back to the comforts of home; I'm tired of this sandbox." Shane said_**

"**_You're the one that re-upped." Tony replied with a shrug_**

"_**Because I wanted to honor Jake." Shane replied**_

"_**And you did." Tony replied**_

"_**You're still here." Shane said**_

"_**I got 57 more days and I'm out of here." Tony smiled**_

**Shane stared at Walsh for a moment and tried to fight back the emotions that he could feel building. They were the same emotions he had every time he told the story. **

"**57 days was all that Tony had left." Shane said, "57 days until he got to come home to his fiancée and start building a life with her." **

**He continued back to the story.**

_**It sounded like a bottle rocket going off. There were people screaming and gunfire going off. Then suddenly a loud explosion occurred. **_

**Shane had tears going down his face. **

"**I couldn't hear or see anything." Shane said, "I couldn't feel anything either." **

**Walsh listened patiently as Shane explained what happened next. **

"**I woke up in a medical center. Couldn't move at all. They said that my Humvee hit an IAD." Shane choked up. "I was the only survivor. There I was unable to move and found out that my best friend was gone." **

"**Were you paralyzed?" Walsh asked**

"**There was shrapnel that had lodged in my back. They said that's why I couldn't move. It took months of therapy to get back to the point of moving my hands and arms, and eventually my legs." Shane replied**

"**So Taylor's paralysis could be temporary?" Walsh asked**

"**Yeah. It's very possible, especially since early on she could move her hands." Shane replied**

**Walsh looked at him. **

"**She's very important to all of you. I can see that much." Shane began, "But she doesn't want to see you right now- I understand where she's coming from. But don't get discouraged. It's overwhelming with everyone coming in and out. If YOU care so much about her, go and see her- but don't treat her like she's paralyzed. She needs people around her right now." **

"**Thanks." Walsh said**

"**For what?" Shane asked**

"**For the advice." Walsh replied**

"**It's more of a suggestion." Shane grinned**

**Walsh stood up.**

"**So why'd you join the fire department?" He asked**

**Shane looked at him, "Because that day, your brothers- my brothers- fought a battle that was the most courageous battle in history. No matter what the odds were everyone who was there had one goal- to get everyone out alive. We know now that it couldn't end that way, but no one ever gave up. When I couldn't go back to the Marines I inquired about the fire department. Then took the test and ended up wearing blue. I can help make a difference in someone's life, that's how I've spent my entire life. Joining the fire department was a new beginning, gave me a reason to push that much harder. " **

**They were interrupted when the alarm sounded.**

"**Squad 5-5, Ladder 100, Adam 5-5-3 respond for a residential building fire. 108 and Lexington." **

**Before leaving the bunkroom Walsh stopped.**

"**Shane, no matter what those guys think, I'd be honored to have you backing me up out there." He said**

"**Thanks." Shane smiled **

The nurse returned to Taylor's room with Beth Taylor.

"Are you ready for therapy?" The nurse asked

"The change of scenery would be nice." Taylor quipped as she closed the magazine that she was reading.

Beth smiled. "Feels good doesn't it?"

"It'd be better if I could move my legs again." Taylor replied

"Give it time honey, you'll get there." Beth said

"I'm not giving up until I do." Taylor added

"That's the spirit." The nurse smiled as she helped Taylor into her wheelchair.

"I guess I don't have a choice do I?" Taylor smiled as she looked at her medals that she earned.

Her mom thought that seeing them would help encourage her recovery.

"I'm walking up to that stage on Medal Day to get my medals." Taylor said. "I WILL walk up there!"

Beth smiled.

"That's my girl." She said.


	16. Recovering

The shift ended after a relatively quiet night. The majority of the Squad still didn't accept Shane as part of the family, but Walsh did.

"Well you made it." Walsh smiled as they walked down the stairs of the fire house

"Yeah, thanks for making it bearable." Shane replied, his bag slung over his shoulder

"You'll be fine." Walsh replied

"So are you going to go see her today?" Shane asked as he noticed Walsh pause at the photo of Taylor on the wall.

"Thanks to your advice, yeah." Walsh smiled

"Something tells me that you are more than just friends with her." Shane said

"You study psychology or something?" Walsh laughed

Shane laughed as well. "No, it's just obvious."

They walked out the door of the open bay and to where their cars were parked.

"Damn, you drive that?" Walsh asked

Shane laughed. "Guess the military made me used to having a Hummer."

"It makes my Jeep look like a Matchbox car." Walsh said

"You'll get used to it; besides, it'll make cleaning the snow off your Jeep easier if I park beside you this winter." Shane laughed

"True. Have a good one!" Walsh said as he put the top down on his Jeep.

"You too." Shane replied

**Taylor wanted to get an early jump on therapy. It helped her to pass the time by not being in the stark white walled hospital room. **

**The therapist was working with her to regain her upper body strength so they were doing things like a modified bench press. **

**Taylor was dressed in her gray FDNY t-shirt and navy blue sweats. Whenever she went to the gym to workout, that's what she dressed in. They were well worn, and in reality they needed replaced. **

**She worked for about 30 minutes twice a day and the muscle tone was starting to return. It was still a long way from being ready to go back to her job though.**

"**Wow!" The therapist said, "You keep doing it that easy and I'll have to figure something new for you to work on." **

**Taylor laughed, "I'm not your average everyday girl." **

"**I know." He laughed, "I don't know any other female firefighters so that alone makes you one of a kind."**

"**There's a few of us out there." Taylor laughed, "You've just never heard of us because we're so damn good."**

**He laughed with her. **

"**Now we gotta get you using those legs again." He smiled**

"**I would if they'd listen to me." Taylor replied**

"**Oh you talk to your legs now?" He asked**

**Taylor thought for a moment, "If I did would that make me a psych patient?" **

"**No, I'd just think you're schizophrenic or bipolar." He laughed**

"**Well I'm not either of those, so I think you're safe." Taylor replied. "Not like I could stalk you or anything."**

"**Then you'd be a psych patient." He laughed again. **

"**Okay, I think I'm done now." Taylor said as her muscles started to ache a bit**

**The therapist leaned over her and smiled, "Yeah, you should probably stop before you over exert yourself." **

**He helped her back into her wheelchair.**

"**Alright, this afternoon I don't want you working so hard." He said**

"**Is that for my safety?" She asked**

"**Yeah, I don't want you to hurt those muscles." He said as he ran his hands down her arms**

**Taylor shivered a little, his touch was slightly cold, but it felt good to her to have a man show a little affection to her. **

"**I'll try to keep them in tip top shape." She replied as he wheeled her back to her room.**

"**You do that." He smiled**

Walsh pulled his Jeep into a parking space in front of the hospital. He felt weird for some reason. He thought that maybe it was because Shane could see his affection for Taylor; did that mean that everyone else could as well and they just never said anything? He walked towards the doors of the hospital, pausing as an ambulance drove by him.

"I can't go in empty handed." He thought to himself as he headed towards the gift shop.

He found a balloon and a small bunch of flowers, paid for them and then headed up the elevator. As the doors opened he could see Taylor being wheeled up the hall towards her room. She was smiling as she was talking to the man pushing her chair.

His heart sank and he suddenly wondered if he was over stepping his friendship. Before he could close the doors he heard her shout down the hall.

"Billy!" She yelled

Walsh stepped off of the elevator and headed towards her…


	17. Admittance Is The First Step

Walsh walked down the hallway towards Taylor. He had hoped to brace himself before seeing her in a wheelchair. He hoped that she didn't think he was starring at her or making faces.

She reached up to hug him.

"I know you didn't want any visitors." He said as he leaned down towards her

"It's okay now." She said, "I missed you."

The therapist smiled

"This is my therapist, Dr. Kalons." Taylor introduced the strange man

He held out his hand towards Walsh. Walsh shook hands with him.

"She's not giving you a fit is she?" Walsh asked

"She's a pistol." Dr. Kalons replied with a Southern accent. "I'd hate to be the man who tries to get her to settle down."

"Yeah, he's in for a real treat." Walsh cracked

Taylor playfully slapped Walsh's stomach.

"Violence is not the answer." Walsh cracked

"So what'd you bring me?" Taylor asked

"How do you know they're not for some nurse that I may or may not be dating?" Walsh asked

"Um… because the card says "ALEX" on it." Taylor said sarcastically. "And the only woman you're in love with is Betty Crocker. You're getting a little bit of a belly on you."

"Aren't you the funny one today?" Walsh cracked

"I think I'm going to leave you two to catch up." Dr. Kalons said

Taylor looked at Walsh.

"I'll hold them if you return me to my room." She smiled

"Nah, I'd rather leave you in the hall." Walsh laughed

"Hey!" Taylor said

But Walsh wasn't kidding, he walked towards her room.

"You're so mean!" She called out

He started laughing.

"Your arms aren't broke." He said

Then she thought about it.

"Oh yeah! I can wheel myself in." She said

He just laughed as he sat down on the bed.

"I'm glad you came." Taylor said

"Thought you didn't want to see anyone." Walsh replied

"It wasn't that I didn't want to see you…" Taylor paused, "I was ashamed, and didn't want people to pity me because I was paralyzed."

"Didn't bother you with Dr. Talons." Walsh said

"It's Kalons, and are you jealous Billy?" Taylor asked

"No." Walsh replied

"Then why are you so angry?" Taylor asked

"I'm not angry." Walsh replied

"Then act like the Billy I know." Taylor said

Walsh got up to leave but Taylor grabbed his arm.

"Don't leave." She said

He stared at her.

"I can't do this." He said

"Can't do what?" She asked

"I can't pretend that everything's a bed of roses Alex. I can't pretend that you're not in that wheelchair." Walsh replied

"Is that why you're angry?" Taylor asked

"No!" Walsh said sharply

"You're arguing with me about a simple question. What's wrong with you Billy?" Taylor asked

She had been glad to see him, but she didn't expect him to seem so angry.

"Sit down and talk to me." She urged

Reluctantly he sat back down.

"I'm GLAD that YOU came." She said again

"It's not the same around the firehouse." Walsh said

"You miss me that much?" Taylor asked playfully

"More than you know." Walsh looked down

"I miss having you all picking on me all the time." Taylor admitted

"Yeah, it's too quiet at the house now." Walsh said

"What's bothering you?" Taylor asked

Walsh couldn't ignore her persistent questioning anymore.

"Is it hard?" He asked, "Is it hard to give up the life you knew?"

Taylor was shocked by the question, but then she thought of the answer.

"Yes. In all honesty it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To accept the fact that I was paralyzed, almost died, and now have to learn how to go through life without the use of my legs. I miss it. We take everything for granted when we are healthy. It made me bitter at first. Now I realize that I need to have the support system around me. That same system that I pushed away." Taylor took Walsh's hand in hers. "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who acted like an ass just now." Walsh said

"Apology accepted." She laughed

"What… what was it like to be in the coma, I mean do you dream or?" Walsh was curious

"It's strange. You have an awareness that everyone's around you, but you can't move, talk, or even open your eyes. I dreamed a little while I was in the coma too. I dreamed about my dad, my future. It's changed a lot of things. Made me rethink a lot of things." Taylor admitted

"I thought that we lost you." Walsh said

"In all honesty, at first I would have rather died. But now I realize that there's so much to live for." Taylor said

Walsh looked at her oddly. Could she sense his feelings for him? Or were her own feelings overwhelming her?

He put his hand on her upper arm and looked at her.

"I should have said this a long time ago." He smiled

"What's that?" Taylor asked

"I…" He was interrupted when the nurse walked in the room.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize that you had a visitor. I'll come back to give you your bath." The nurse said

Taylor laughed.

"It's okay. You can do it now." Taylor told the nurse

Walsh was in shock.

"I should go." He said

"Are you scared Billy?" Taylor asked

"No." He replied

"You were going to tell me something and now you're scared to." Taylor noted

Walsh turned his head as the nurse helped Taylor take off her shirt.

"This makes you uncomfortable doesn't it?" She asked him

"A little, yeah." Walsh replied without turning around

Taylor laughed

"What were you going to tell me?" She asked

Walsh hesitated.

"I was going to tell you…" He paused as he turned back around and looked at Taylor. "I was going to tell you that I think you're beautiful." He said quickly and turned back around so that he couldn't see Taylor's reaction

"Can you excuse us for a minute?" Taylor asked the nurse

The nurse nodded and left the room. Taylor wrapped a robe around her body.

"You can turn around again." She said to Walsh

He slowly turned back.

"I'm… I'm sorry." He said, apologizing for the fact that he looked at her and then turned away quickly.

"It doesn't bother me. I mean you've seen me in my underwear at the firehouse when I've changed there." Taylor reassured him.

"But…" He stuttered

"Is that how you really feel about me?" Taylor asked

"It is." He nodded his head

Taylor smiled, "Do you feel anything else?"

"What do you mean?" Walsh asked

"Do you have any fantasies or other feelings for me?" She was curious

He paused for a moment. "Well, yeah. I do."

"Would it help if I told you that I dreamt about you while I was in the coma?" Taylor asked

"You dreamt about me?" Walsh replied with a question

"How do you really feel about me?" Taylor countered

"I…" He paused again. "I think I love you."

Taylor realized that his answer was truthful. She had thought that there were unexplained feelings between them before, but never knew exactly how he felt.

Walsh worried about his response to her. He thought that she'd think he was silly for saying that he loved her, but it was true what they say- absence does make the heart grow fonder. He spoke again.

"I want to be here every step of the way for you Alex. You should have never been alone to deal with this."

"I love you too Billy." She replied

"You do?" He asked

She nodded. "Yes."

It was great news to him.

"So will you let me help you?" He asked

"Yes. I want you to help me. I'm going to walk again. I have my whole life ahead of me." She replied

"So you wouldn't mind if I kissed you then?" Walsh felt like a school boy asking permission to kiss a girl.

"What's taking you so long?" She asked

He leaned in and kissed her.

"You don't know how long I've waited to do that." Walsh said

"I think I have an idea." Taylor laughed

They sat and talked for a long time. He went to her therapy session that afternoon. Walsh wanted to spend every waking hour with her. But he realized that she needed some alone time too. So finally he left, it was well after dark. As he walked to his car he caught himself looking back towards the window of her room. It was like a giant weight was lifted off of his shoulders.

"I love you!" He said before he got in his Jeep and drove away.


	18. A Brother's Love

Taylor's therapy continued. Gradually her upper body strength was regained though her legs were still useless to her. Walsh would come to her sessions when he wasn't working and he tried to encourage her when she was ready to give up. When he wasn't at the hospital, she found herself thinking about him.

**Walsh walked into the firehouse. **

"**Hey Billy, how's Taylor?" Lombardo asked**

"**She's doing good. I think she could out bench you now!" Walsh cracked**

"**She probably could before she was hurt." DK laughed**

**Walsh shook his head and continued up the stairs where Lt. Johnson was standing in the kitchen with Jimmy. **

"**You're late." Lt. Johnson noted**

"**Sorry Lieu, Taylor's therapy started late." Walsh replied**

**Lieutenant Johnson didn't want to punish Walsh since Taylor was part of the family. **

"**She doing okay?" Lt. Johnson asked**

"**Yeah, she's getting her strength back." Walsh responded**

"**Try to get here on time." Lt. Johnson smiled as he walked out of the room.**

Taylor was sleeping in her hospital bed. The IVs had long since been discontinued as had the cardiac monitor. She was being kept in the hospital to help her adjust to her condition before being sent home. She tossed her head to the side a bit and began breathing hard.

_There was the sound of water. The sound of being underwater in a pool actually. Taylor was under the water for some reason and she couldn't get to the surface. She began to frantically move her arms, but her legs felt like lead weights. She panicked. It was a life or death struggle to get out of the water, but she couldn't. She felt herself sinking slowly towards the bottom of the pool. She closed her eyes._

Taylor sat straight up in the bed. She was panting for air and her heart was racing.

"It was just a dream." She told herself, "It was all a dream."

She looked down at her legs, trying to will them to move. After a few seconds she gave up.

"That's useless." She told herself, still trying to calm down from the dream. "I don't know why I keep trying."

"Because you're a Taylor." Her brother said

"Adam." Taylor said in surprise, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see you wake up from a nightmare and try to make you legs move." He replied as he carried a brown paper bag and a "to go" cup in with him.

"What's in the bag?" Taylor asked

"Are you going to give up trying to regain the use of your legs?" Adam asked

"No." Taylor replied

"Okay then I can tell you that in this bag is the best burger and fries you'll find in Mercy Hospital." Adam grinned

"Did you get them from that Deli on 47th?" Taylor asked

"Now why would I go anywhere else to get them?" Adam asked as he handed the bag to her

"Because you're a guy." Taylor smiled as she took a sip of the chocolate milkshake her brother had brought her

"Careful there, you'll lose your girlish figure." He laughed

"I don't think that's a problem at this point." She said and took a couple fries from the bag.

"So you're going home tomorrow?" He asked

"That's what they say." She smiled

"I bet that you can't wait to get out of here." He said looking around

"It's going to be a big change." She replied

"Are you going to have that firefighter friend stay with you?" He asked

"You mean Billy?" She replied with a question

"Yeah." He replied

"Yes, he's been with me pretty much every step of the way." Taylor replied

"Now come on Alex, I know there's more to it than that. I might be your big brother but I'm not stupid."

"I never said that you were." She replied, "I think that he and I have grown a lot closer over the past few weeks."

"You worked with the guy Alex." Adam protested

"Do you have a problem with me falling in love with a firefighter?" She asked

"No…" Adam paused. "Well actually yes Alex."

There was a noticeable disappointment in her face.

"Why are you against it?" She asked

"Because Alex. Being a firefighter got dad killed. It almost got you killed! Now you want to be with someone like that? What happens when he doesn't come home at night because he's lying in a hospital bed or worse, the morgue? I've had a hard time watching you go through this. I don't want to sit back and watch you go through another tragedy like that." Adam said

"I'm sorry that you feel that way Adam. But it doesn't change anything." Taylor replied, "I love Billy, and he loves me. You should be happy that I've found a way to be happy through this tragedy."

"I'm glad that you've found someone Alex, I really am. But I just wish that it were someone who didn't go running into burning buildings for a living." Adam replied. "I didn't mean to come here and start an argument or upset you. I'm just concerned."

"I know." Taylor replied

"Do you still love me?" He asked

Taylor smiled. "Of course I do." She said as she reached out to hug him. "But that's not going to make me not love Billy."

Adam looked at his sister for a moment. "Then I am happy for you." He smiled

Adam got up from the chair and left the room. Taylor sat and finished her lunch, crumbling up the brown paper bag and laying it on the table beside her and then she closed her eyes again to try and get some rest.


	19. Homecoming

As the morning sun shined through the windows of her hospital room, Taylor prepared to go home.

"Are you ready to go home Alex?" The nurse asked

"It sure beats being here." Taylor smiled

"Yeah, after a while I'd think that these four walls would get a little stuffy." The nurse replied

Beth Taylor walked into the room with Adam.

"Well little sis, you ready to break out of here?" Adam asked

"What do you think?" Taylor replied

"That's the spirit." Adam laughed as Beth looked on and smiled

"Well as soon as you're ready." The nurse said

"Believe me, I'm ready." Taylor smiled

Adam slowly pushed Taylor down the hall and towards the elevator. Some of the other nurses walked by and smiled or said "Good bye." Taylor was happy to be leaving the hospital. After being there for 2 months, it was definitely not a place she wanted to spend too much more time.

"So how's the outside world?" Taylor asked

Adam laughed for a minute. "Outside." He quipped

"Very funny." Taylor retorked. "You're such a smart ass."

Beth laughed at her children.

"It's nice to know that you're coming home." Beth commented. "The guys came over and helped get the house set up for you."

"That was sweet of them." Taylor said

"I'm glad that you're coming to my house, I don't think I would sleep to think of you alone in your apartment." Beth replied

"I know, that's why I agreed to stay with you." Taylor replied

They made their way into the elevator and the doors shut closing them off from view. Taylor closed her eyes for a moment- it was like she was preparing for a new world. It was a new life for her to embark on; a life that now included a wheel chair.

**Walsh walked through the kitchen of the firehouse singing "Desperado." **

"**Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy, She'll beat you if she's able, The queen of hearts is always your best bet, Now it seems to me some fine things, Have been laid upon you table, But you only want the ones that you can't get…" Walsh sang**

"**Whoa easy on a brother's ears!" DK laughed**

"**What's wrong with my singing?" Walsh asked**

"**The fact that somewhere out there, there are dogs crying in pain." Jimmy chimed in.**

"**You're not funny." Walsh replied **

"**Any time a man sings Desperado it shows how lonely he is." Lombardo grinned**

"**Is everything okay, how's the relationship with the girl from the bodega?" DK asked**

"**My love life is definitely not your concern." Walsh replied. **

"**You're right." Shane laughed, "How's Taylor?"**

**The guys laughed. **

"**Ouch." Jimmy laughed**

"**Taylor's fine." Walsh grinned, "Coming home today." **

"**Well we kind of knew that since her mom asked us if we'd help set up the house." Shane replied**

"**That's right." DK said, "You were there." **

**They all teased Walsh. **

"**Don't worry about it." Shane grinned**

"**Yeah, it's good that Taylor's got someone to rely on like you." Jimmy replied**

"**Though if you were to decide to marry her I'd have a problem with that." Lombardo said**

"**You'd have a problem with that?" Walsh asked**

"**Yeah, because that'd be like marrying my sister." Lombardo cracked**

**The guys all laughed about that.**

"**You're not funny." Walsh said throwing a towel at Lombardo.**

Adam started push Taylor up the ramp in front of their childhood home.

"No, I need to do this on my own." Taylor said

"Okay, but I'm back here to help you." Adam replied

"Thanks." Taylor said as she looked towards the front door. "It never seemed that far away before."

"Take your time honey." Beth didn't want Taylor to over exert herself.

Taylor took a deep breath before she began to wheel her chair up the incline. It took her a few seconds before she was finally on the porch. She looked at her mother and brother.

"Welcome home." Beth said as she opened the front door.

Taylor wheeled herself inside. She looked at the stairs, then off to the kitchen. Finally she looked at the former living room that now housed a bed with the living room furniture.

"Thank you." She said

"It's going to take some getting used to." Adam replied

"Yeah, it is." Taylor admitted. "Everything has so far."

They left her alone for a couple minutes as she wheeled herself over to the couch and saw the picture of her dad, in his dress uniform, which sat on the end table. She picked it up.

"I guess you were the lucky one." She said silently


	20. The One With The Homecoming

It seemed like night fell quickly over the city. Taylor wheeled herself to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

"Let me fix you something." Beth said when she noticed Taylor come in.

"Please mom, let me learn to do this on my own." Taylor requested

"Okay." Beth wasn't exactly sure how to handle the situation

"I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to…" Taylor realized just how hard it was to live life disabled.

She brushed her hair back with her hand.

"This is hard on me." She admitted

"I know honey." Beth said

Taylor laid the bread and some lunch meat on the kitchen table.

"You'll get through this." Beth said

"I know, but I'm not giving up. I WILL walk again" Taylor said

Beth had a faint smile cross her face, "I know you will."

Beth walked out of the room and Taylor continued to make her sandwich. Carefully she layered the meat and cheese on one side of the bread. She took the top off of the mayonnaise jar and started to spread a thin layer of mayo on the other slice of bread. She laid the knife back down on the table but inadvertently she hit the jar lid, knocking it to the floor.

"Damn." Taylor said as she tried to maneuver her wheel chair to pick up the lid.

She reached down, but leaned over a little too far and she fell out of the chair as it slid away from her and crashed into a cabinet. Taylor let out a cry as she hit the floor. Her mom heard the commotion and came rushing down the stairs.

"Alex!?" She cried as she rounded the corner into the kitchen.

Taylor looked up with tears in her eyes.

"I'm okay mom." Taylor said as she surveyed the situation

"Let me help you." Beth said

"I don't think you're strong enough to get me up by yourself." Taylor said

Beth had a helpless look in her eye.

"What should I do?" Beth asked a tear had fallen down her face.

"You're going to have to call someone to come help." Taylor said

"I can't call your brother, he's at work. Your uncle's out of town." Beth started going through the list in her head.

"Call the firehouse." Taylor said. "It's out of their response area, but maybe one of the medic units can come out just to help me up."

"Are you sure?" Beth asked knowing that Taylor didn't want her friends to see her like this.

She had a strong Irish pride. If she couldn't do something herself, she hated to ask to get help. But in this instance she was more embarrassed and upset that she couldn't do it on her own.

Beth's fingers trembled as she dialed the phone. She was both upset and afraid at the same time.

"Hello, is Lieutenant Johnson available?" Beth asked

After a short pause she began talking again. "Francis, it's Beth Taylor… I need help… Alex fell and I can't get her up… I don't think she's hurt, I'm just not strong enough to get her up off the floor… thank you." Beth said and then she hung up the phone.

"He's sending someone over." Beth said as Taylor looked up at her helplessly from the floor.

**The Squad was relaxing in the lounge. Kim and Carlos were sitting at the kitchen table as Lieutenant Johnson walked in. Everyone looked at him. **

"**Something wrong Lieu?" Jimmy asked**

"**Taylor fell out of her wheelchair." Lt. Johnson said **

**Everyone prepared to jump up. **

"**Hang on. She's not hurt, just needs help up off of the floor." Lt. Johnson said**

"**So she's okay?" Walsh asked**

"**Yes." Lt. Johnson said. "Kim, I want you and Carlos to go over to her mom's and help her up. I've already called dispatch and let them know that you're going out of service."**

"**Okay." Kim said**

**Lt. Johnson looked around the room. He could see that Walsh was worried. **

"**Billy, go with them." Lt. Johnson said**

**Walsh was relieved. "Okay." He said **

**Not a single member of the Squad would object. They all wanted to pile in the truck and go, but then that would leave their response area vulnerable. **

"**Tell her we said hi." Jimmy said**

**Walsh shook his head. **

Kim was driving and Carlos let Walsh ride up front.

"You know where she lives right?" Walsh asked

Kim laughed, "Yes, I know where Taylor's mom lives."

Carlos laughed "Relax."

Kim smiled in agreement with Carlos. "She's fine, if she wasn't she would have had her mom call 911 instead of the firehouse."

"This ride is taking forever." Walsh said, "You should have let me drive."

Kim laughed. "You don't need lights and sirens." She said when he noticed that he was looking at the light panel.

Walsh put his hand back in his lap like a chastised little kid.

They soon pulled up in front of the house. Walsh jumped out of the bus and ran for the front door. Kim and Carlos walked up behind. Beth answered the door and the three of them walked in.

"She's in the kitchen." Beth said

They entered the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Walsh asked as he knelt down beside her

"Yeah, I just got off balance." Taylor said

"You should be more careful." Walsh replied

Taylor glared at him.

"Alright Alex, let's get you off this floor." Carlos said as he knelt down beside her

Together Carlos and Walsh lifted Taylor off of the floor and put her back in her wheelchair. Kim watched as they carefully seated her.

"You sure you're okay?" Kim asked. "There's a little blood on your forehead, did you hit it on the table?"

"Probably." Taylor said.

"Is she going to be okay?" Walsh asked

"She'll be fine, it's Alex." Carlos said

"Thanks!" Taylor quipped

Kim wiped the blood off of Taylor's forehead.

"I'm off tomorrow, maybe I can come over and we'll do something." Kim suggested

Taylor wasn't in the mood to be patronized though.

"If you want." She said, still embarrassed that her coworkers had to get her off of the floor.

"I'll call you in the morning to see if you're up to it." Kim said

Walsh knelt down beside the wheelchair.

"It's only because we're concerned about you. You should know that." He said. "Having Kim come over won't hurt. I'll be over later tomorrow too."

Taylor nodded gently.

"Thank you." Taylor said

"I'm glad you're okay." Carlos said as he walked out the door

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Kim said as she followed

Walsh really didn't want to leave. "Call us if you need us." He said and then he kissed her forehead.

Taylor nodded again.

Beth walked to the door with Walsh.

"Thank you Billy." Beth said

"If there's anything you need, you know where to find us." He said

Beth nodded as he walked out the door. She shut it gently and then turned around.

"They really do care about you." Beth said

"I know, I'm just not ready to see them all. I'm just not ready to be the object of their pity right now. It's going to take some time." Taylor replied

"At least let Kim come over and keep you company." Beth suggested, "I really can't be that good of company."

Taylor smiled. "It's okay mom."

Beth leaned over to hug Taylor.

"Now will you let me help you?" She asked

"Of course." Taylor smiled

Beth finished making the sandwich and then the two of them went into the living room to watch FRIENDS.


	21. Dreams

Taylor settled into her bed. It was weird sleeping in the living room. There was a nightlight in the kitchen so that she could see in the event she had to get up for anything. The street out in front of the house was eerily quiet. She had always remembered a steady stream of cars traveling it when she was a kid.

She looked around in the darkened room. It was by no stretch of the imagination anything like the hospital room she had been in for 2 months. It felt good to be "home," but it would be better if she were in her home and able to walk.

It was approaching 2 AM and still she couldn't sleep. She turned on the TV. She surfed through the channels and discovered that nothing good was on.

"A lot of good that did." She said to herself as she continued to click the remote.

She finally settled in on reruns of Law and Order. It was something. Slowly she faded off to sleep.

"_The floor's getting weaker." She noted_

"_Yeah, just one more room and we'll be out of this part." Jimmy replied_

_Jimmy was checking around a bunch of tables when he heard something snap. _

"_Alex?" He said_

"_Jimmy!" She yelled back_

_Within seconds the ceiling above them came crashing down. In what felt like slow motion to him, Jimmy watched as debris hit her and then she was forced through the floor. _

_She grasped for anything she could, but she was falling too fast. She fell down onto the top of machine before rolling off of that and hitting the floor hard. The machine slowly began to topple over and she tried to move but the building was unforgiving and the impact of her fall and the machine caused that floor to give way and down she went. _

_She lay motionless amid the debris. She was unconscious but could hear the sound of scraping metal. She began to come to enough to realize what had happened, just as her PAS device activated._

"_Oh God!" She thought to herself. "That's my alarm. How far did I fall?" _

_She began running through questions in her head but her thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the alarm and the roar of the fire. _

"_I've got to get out of here." She said. _

_She realized that she couldn't move and fear set in. _

"_Somebody help me!" She cried out. _

"_Please!" She began to cry_

She woke up suddenly, breathing heavily. The glow of the TV made the room blue.

"I was dreaming. I'm okay." She said trying to calm herself down.

Then she wondered if she had awakened her mother. As far as she could tell though, her mother was still asleep. She looked around the room. Then she heard foot steps upstairs. She watched the hallway for the shadow of her mother; but not long after the light came on it went back off.

"Okay I didn't wake her." Taylor told herself

She laid there starring at the TV. It was still a little bright so she had to squint a bit.

"I think I need a glass of milk." She thought. "That'll calm me down."

She looked at her wheel chair.

"Well, this will be the real test of how well I can manage."

It took a few moments but she finally got herself situated in her wheelchair and slowly she made her way to the kitchen. She didn't turn the light on, but rather went straight for the refrigerator. She opened the door and had plenty of light to grab a glass from the counter and pour the milk. Once she closed the milk carton and put it back on the shelf she stopped to think of how she was going to take the milk back to bed with her. Finally she found a way to hold the glass and she returned to the bed.

"Okay, now I gotta get back in bed." She thought. It would be so much easier if she could use her legs, but that option didn't exist.

After struggling for a few moments she managed to pull herself up into the bed. It was a lot of work. She slowly drank the glass of milk. The red numbers on the clock changed to 3:30. It was different being "home." She missed the hospital a little, at least there was activity, the night was too still.

She began to wonder what her coworkers were doing. As much as she hated to be awakened by a call in the middle of the night, she longed to be back in the firehouse.

_Taylor thought back to a shift about 6 months before her accident. It was an abnormally slow night in the firehouse. There was a snowstorm moving in over the city. They all watched as it began to snow._

"_Good maybe we'll get a call." Lombardo said_

"_What and ruin this perfectly good shift?" DK asked_

"_Will you all quiet down, the Knicks game is on." Jimmy said from the recliner_

"_You and your basketball." Taylor said as she threw a piece of balled up paper at him._

"_Is it time to eat yet?" Lombardo asked_

"_If you keep asking me it'll make dinner take even longer." Walsh cracked_

"_What the hell are you making anyway?" Taylor asked_

"_Stir fry." Walsh replied_

"_What kind?" Taylor asked, "Because you know that fried rice from the place up on Amsterdam is awesome." _

"_You like that place too?" DK asked_

"_Of course! Egg rolls, General Tso, it doesn't matter. It's all good from there." Taylor laughed as she sat down at the table._

"_Now look what you made me do!" Walsh said as he removed the rice from the stove. "I burnt the damn rice!"_

"_You burnt minute rice? Wow even Taylor can make minute rice." DK cracked_

"_Hey now." Taylor objected_

"_I thought women were supposed to be GOOD in the kitchen?" Lombardo asked_

"_Oh I'm good in the kitchen." Taylor grinned. "Just not THAT way." _

"_Whoa! Way more than I needed to hear." DK said_

"_You're just jealous." Taylor grabbed a piece of celery and bit into it. "Since it doesn't look like we're eating this century." _

_Walsh just glared across the kitchen. _

"_They make self help books for that." Taylor cracked_

"_Will you all go find someone else to pick on?" Walsh asked_

"_But that takes all the fun out of it." DK protested._

"_Go somewhere else!" Walsh said as he threw the rice in the garbage_

"_Gee I can tell where I'm not wanted." Taylor said, "I'll take my celery and go home." _

_Walsh just shook his head as DK, Lombardo, and Taylor left the room. _

_It was only a matter of minutes before the Claxton sounded._

"_Squad 5-5, Ladder 100, Adam 5-5-3, Boy 5-5-3 respond for an apartment building fire corner of 108 and Lex." _

"_Here we go!" Lombardo shouted as they headed for their gear. _

_The snow began to fall heavier as they approached the scene. They could see fire spewing from the windows of the building. Walsh pulled the truck to a stop and soon the firefighters jumped out and prepared to go to work. _

"_My children are still in there!" A frantic mother screamed_

"_Where? Where are your children?" Jimmy asked_

"_4th floor, in the rear." The woman cried_

"_We'll find them." Jimmy said_

"_How many children do you have ma'am?" Lt. Johnson asked_

"_4." The woman replied_

"_Go and get them!" Lt. Johnson instructed his squad_

_It took very little time for Jimmy, Taylor, Lombardo, and DK to reach the fourth floor. _

"_Alright, let's stay together and get those kids out of here." Jimmy said as they cautiously made their way back the hall. _

_The heat was intense as they closed in on the apartment. _

"_Fire Department!" Jimmy yelled_

_They broke through the door and into the orange glow. _

"_Alright, let's work quick." DK said_

"_Fire department!" Taylor yelled as they began to search the apartment. _

_They made their way back a short hallway where 3 rooms split off. The fire raged on behind them. _

"_I found one!" Lombardo said as he picked up a little girl who was crying for her mother. _

"_Okay, the others have to be around here somewhere." Jimmy said_

"_It's okay we're here to help!" Taylor yelled _

_Soon two other children appeared, both small boys. _

"_Where's Andy?" one of them asked_

"_I don't know." Jimmy said_

"_We gotta get them out of here." DK said as the fire grew more intense._

"_I'm not leaving here without the other kid." Taylor said, "Get them out of here."_

"_I'm not leaving you here alone." Jimmy urged_

"_Go! I'll be right behind you." Taylor said_

_DK and Lombardo quietly objected. _

"_She's right, we gotta get these kids out." Lombardo said_

"_5 minutes!" Jimmy said, "If you're not out in 5 minutes we're coming in after you."_

"_I'll be there." Taylor said_

_The other three made their way back out of the apartment. Soon the floor began to creak. _

"_Andy?" Taylor said as she ripped the mattresses off the beds. "Andy where are you?" She frantically searched through the closet. "I'm here to help you." _

_She heard crying coming from the kitchen. "Andy are you out there?" _

"_Please help me!" The little boy cried_

_Taylor moved out the hall and looked across towards the kitchen. The floor was growing weaker and the fire was burning a wall between them. She thought for a moment. _

"_I'm his only chance." And with that she quickly made her way across the floor. "I'm here." She said kneeling beside him._

"_It hurts." He cried_

"_I know, I know." Taylor said. "We're going to get you out of here." _

_The little boy shook his head in fear as Taylor picked him up._

"_I'm coming out." She said in her radio. "I have the boy."_

"_Hurry up." Lt. Johnson said as he realized that they were quickly losing the building._

_She made her way back to the hallway that led to the stairs. Then she heard an all too familiar sound. There was a hiss coming quickly behind her. She quickly ran towards the stairwell. Soon the floor erupted in a fireball._

"_Taylor!" Jimmy yelled from the ground as he watched the flames shoot out the windows. They all covered themselves to protect against falling glass and debris. _

_Taylor quickly dove out the window onto the fire escape and covered the boy. _

"_Stay down." She said as the fireball shot debris out the window towards them _

_As the Squad looked up they could see Taylor lying on the fire escape._

"_Taylor!" Jimmy yelled as he and DK ran towards the ground ladder to it. _

_Taylor gathered her senses and then picked up Andy and headed down the metal stairs. _

_Jimmy and DK met her at the first landing. Jimmy took the boy from her and together they made their way to the ground where the medics were waiting to take care of the boy. His grateful mother was crying._

"_Bless you! Bless you!" She cried _

"_You're either really stupid or really lucky!" Walsh said_

"_Yeah." Taylor said as she pushed past him to go to the bus the boy was taken to._

_The boy was burned. _

"_You hang in there Andy." Taylor said _

"_Will I be okay?" He asked_

"_The medics are going to take you to the hospital where the doctors are going to take real good care of you." Taylor smiled_

_The boy smiled slightly. "You're alright for a girl." _

_Taylor laughed. "Well thank you." _

_She helped to load the stretcher into the ambulance and closed the doors. _

Taylor smiled as she recalled the incident. Then she thought to herself. 

"I'm going to get better. I'm not spending the rest of my life in that chair. I need to be back on a fire truck!"


	22. Visit From a Friend

It was a little after 10 when Kim came over.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked

"I'm good." Taylor replied

"I brought some sappy movies with me." Kim smiled

"I hate girly movies." Taylor remarked.

"I know." Kim laughed. "But you're the only one who will watch them with me."

"That's probably true, and now I'm a captive audience." Taylor laughed

Beth walked into the living room.

"Kim are you sure it's not a bother for you to stay here for the day?" She asked

"It's fine. I'm sure that you need to run errands, so I have no problems staying here." Kim said

"I feel like I'm a little kid again who needs a babysitter." Taylor said

"It's not that bad." Kim laughed

"Yeah, you're not the one in the wheelchair." Taylor sniped

"Once you get used to being in the chair and doing things, then I'll feel more comfortable leaving you alone. But until then will you please humor me?" Beth asked

"Yes mom." Taylor said

"I'll be back later. I love you honey." Beth kissed Taylor's forehead

"I love you too." Taylor replied

"Thank you Kim." Beth said as she walked out the door.

It was silent for a few moments before Taylor spoke again.

"I know it was hard for me to get used to the chair too." She said

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Kim started

"You get used to it after a while." Taylor replied

Kim nodded. "So what do you want to do?"

"Go for a run by the river." Taylor cracked

Kim laughed.

"Sorry I have to keep a sense of humor." Taylor laughed

"I didn't expect that answer." Kim replied

"So how is everyone at the firehouse?" Taylor asked

"They are all good. They ask about you all the time, give Billy a hard time. You two have become close over these last couple months haven't you?" Kim asked

"I felt safe with him in the room. It was weird at first, but as we spent more time together, even though I was stuck in bed, I felt comforted. More so than I have before." Taylor admitted

"He really likes you." Kim smiled

"I know." Taylor replied, "But he deserves to have someone that he can have fun with."

"You're still fun." Kim replied

"Yeah I'm going to Disney World- The Happiest Place on Earth- next week." Taylor cracked

"Sorry." Kim replied

"So did they replace me?" Taylor asked

"They could never replace you." Kim smiled. "They brought in this guy, Shane Davidson."

"How is he?" Taylor asked

"Hot!" Kim smiled

"Well that helps." Taylor laughed.

"He seems like a good enough guy. You'd probably like him." Kim replied

"Alright so what movies did you bring with you?" Taylor asked

"Troy and Man on Fire." Kim replied

"Isn't Brad Pitt naked in Troy?" Taylor wondered

"Yep." Kim grinned

"Alright then." Taylor said as they moved into the living room

They watched movies and ordered Chinese take out to help them pass the day.

"This doesn't seem normal." Taylor said, "The last time I sat at home and ordered take out when friends came over was when I was in college."

"You went to college?" Kim asked

"You never knew that?" Taylor asked in return

"No." Kim laughed

"It was for a year, then I decided that I wanted to join the FDNY." Taylor replied

"And you majored in?" Kim asked

"Accounting." Taylor laughed

"You can't even balance a check book!" Kim laughed hysterically

"Now you know why I only went one year." Taylor added

"Yeah, good choice on the FDNY." Kim replied

"Thanks." Taylor replied

They were still watching movies when Beth got home. She greeted them when she came through the door.

"So how was your afternoon girls?" She asked

"It was good." Kim said

Taylor was munching on popcorn. "Quiet. I'm trying to watch a movie here." She laughed

"I'm so glad to see you laughing honey." Beth said, "I thought I was never going to get to see that smile light up your face again."

"Yeah, it's good to see you in good spirits." Kim added

"Thanks now back to the movie." Taylor said as they all started laughing.

"That's the Taylor we're used to." Kim smiled as they settled back in with the movie.


	23. Unexpected News

It was around 8 PM. Kim had left a couple of hours before. Taylor was settling in for the evening when the doorbell rang. Her mom was upstairs in the shower so Taylor went to answer the door.

"Coming!" She said as she wheeled her way to the front door.

She opened it to find Walsh standing on the porch.

"Hey." He said

"Hi." Taylor replied

"How you feeling?" He asked

"I'm doing alright." She smiled

Walsh was feeling kind of awkward standing on the front porch.

"So can I come in?" He asked

Taylor laughed. "Yeah come on in Billy."

"So did Kim come over today?" He asked

"Yeah, we had a good time." She replied

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. So do you feel up to another visitor?"

"Well kind of hard to say 'no' when you're standing in my living room." Taylor grinned

"I'm sorry, I just was worried." He replied

"You're fine." Taylor laughed. "Obviously you can't take a joke."

"Sorry." He smiled

"I can't take you apologizing all the time so stop." Taylor said

"Sor..." Walsh caught himself. "So what are you planning this evening?"

Taylor laughed slightly. "Well basically the same thing as every night. Watch TV and eventually go to sleep."

"Sounds like fun." He put his hands in his pockets. "What's on?"

"I was thinking about watching the Yankees game." Taylor said

"You hate baseball." Walsh noted

"Yeah well it's okay sometimes." Taylor replied

"Okay, okay. Who are they playing?" Walsh asked

"Red Sox." Taylor smiled

"Cool." Walsh looked around.

"There's drinks in the kitchen. No beer though, mom doesn't think I should drink. She's afraid I might go too fast and get charged with DWI in my chair." Taylor cracked

"We wouldn't want that then would we? You want a glass of water or something?" He laughed as he walked into the kitchen.

"There's Raspberry tea in there, can I get a glass of that please?" She smiled

"Anything you want. I think I'll try it myself." He smiled as he pulled two glasses from the cabinet.

Soon he returned to the living room with two glasses of the tea. He put them on the end table and sat on the couch next to Taylor. The game was already on so they started watching it. He cautiously took her hand.

"I'm glad to see you in such good spirits." He said softly

"No sense in being mad about it all the time." She replied as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

They sat there and watched the game. Eventually, he noticed that Taylor was starting to fall asleep.

"You should go to bed." Walsh told her

"I'm not being very good company." She responded

"It's okay." He said as he helped her into her bed. "I'll just head out."

"You don't have to leave." She said. "I can stay awake until the end of the game."

"Okay, there's still 2 innings yet." Walsh replied

Finally, it was the top of the 9th inning. Taylor looked over and noticed that Walsh had actually fallen asleep.

"And I was the one falling asleep." She laughed to herself as she turned of the light and went to sleep herself.

The next morning Beth came down the stairs and noticed that Walsh was sleeping on the couch. Taylor heard her mom come down and woke up.

"Morning." She said to her mother

"Billy fell asleep on the couch I see." Beth laughed

"Yeah, he was out before I was." Taylor replied

Slowly he stirred. His hair was flat on one side of his head.

"Good morning sunshine." Taylor laughed

"Would you like a cup of coffee or some breakfast or something?" Beth asked

Walsh looked over at Taylor. She just shrugged.

"Coffee please." He said as he stood up and helped Taylor into her wheelchair.

"Thanks." Taylor said as they went towards the kitchen.

"Anything for you." He smiled

They sat down at the table and were drinking their coffee when the headline of the newspaper caught Walsh's attention.

"FIRE THAT CAUSED WAREHOUSE FIRE RULED ARSON."

"What's that?" Taylor asked as Walsh tried to quickly turn the paper.

She stared at him.

"Billy, why won't you show me the paper?" She asked

He tried to think of a way to tell her.

"The warehouse fire." He said

"Which one?" Taylor asked

"The one you were hurt at." He added

"Yeah that was months ago, what about it?" Taylor asked

"It was arson." He said

"Let me see that." She said as she grabbed the paper from him.

Walsh and Beth watched as Taylor went through a range of emotions as she read the story. The first of which was anger, then finally subsiding in tears.

"Because he wanted to get back at his boss, he cost me my livelihood!" She slammed the paper down on the table and wheeled herself away from the table.

"Alex." Walsh said but she threw her hand up and went out the backdoor.

He stood and watched as the back door closed.

"I wish I could help." He said to Beth

"Give her time." Beth said

"I should probably go." He said sadly

"She'll be okay Billy. She's gotten this far." Beth replied

Walsh nodded. "Thank you for the coffee." He said as he walked out the front door.

Beth took the paper and balled it up.

"Damn it!" She cried aloud as she threw it in the trash and then sat at the table silently.


	24. Dealing with Demons

Walsh walked down Riverside with his hands in the pockets of his blue jeans. There was a slight drizzle in the September morning. He stopped at the fence in front of a burned out building.

"3 months ago, and they come out with the news this morning." He said shaking his head

He looked around the property. It was a lot different than the last time he had been there. Slowly he started placing the apparatus around the scene, thinking back to the day when it had caught fire.

"_That's one of the clothing factories ain't it?" DK said as they headed towards the building. _

"_I think so." Walsh said as he guided the truck towards the building. _

"_Lieutenant 5-5 to Central. Strike an additional alarm on this box. I have a 10 story factory with smoke and flames from 6 floors." Lt. Johnson radioed_

_They knew their jobs when they got on scene. Walsh had barely put the truck in park before they were jumping out. There were workers scrambling from the building as fast as they could. Taylor, Jimmy, DK, and Lombardo made their way through the sea of workers. _

_Walsh watched as Engine 86 pulled on scene and laid a line in. It was a matter of moments before the Battalion Chief pulled on scene and assumed command. It wasn't the best scenario for fighting a fire- not knowing how many victims were still inside, or the exact lay of the building. It would eventually turn out to be 10 stories of hell. _

_It had been about 15 minutes since the crew entered the building. They were not very talkative on the radio, only an occasional status report on their progress. They had made it to the 5th floor, but hadn't found anyone yet. There was fire on floors 4 and 5 they radioed. The search continued as the lines were advanced to fight the flames. _

_But, this day was not a battle to be won by them. Within seconds fate would send the Squad on a terrible turn. From outside the building they could hear the rumble. The fire had weakened the structure and the floors at the top of the warehouse began to weaken. _

"_MAY DAY MAY DAY MAY DAY!" Jimmy yelled into his radio_

_All other radio traffic stopped_

"_We have a firefighter down, 5th floor. The floor collapsed unknown location on the firefighter." Jimmy said_

"_There's been a May Day issued, all units not operating the May Day switch to channel 2. All units not operating the May Day switch to channel 2." The dispatcher said_

_Lt. Johnson turned a worried glance to Walsh._

"_Battalion 11 to unit issuing the May Day identify." The Chief called into his radio_

"_Squad 5-5, firefighter Doherty. Partial collapse of the structure. Fire fighter down 5th floor. Unknown location of the firefighter!" Jimmy yelled into the radio_

_The fire ground was abuzz with motion. Teams were preparing to enter the building. The crew from Rescue 8 made their way in. _

_Time moved in slow motion with very few reports coming out of the building. It was only when their air packs were getting low that the firefighters exited the building. DK and Lombardo came rushing out. _

"_Give me a new bottle!" DK said breathing heavily. _

"_Any word?" Walsh asked_

"_No, but I want to get back in there and find her." DK said_

"_I don't intend to leave her in there." Lombardo added_

_They quickly changed out their bottles and went right back in. Walsh overheard the conversation between the officers. _

"_How long's it been?" The Battalion Chief asked_

"_45 minutes." Lt. Johnson said glumly, not taking his eyes off of the building._

"_We're not making much leeway in this fight." The Chief said _

_Lt. Johnson was trying not to think the worst, but it was very likely that Taylor was dead. She had run out of the air at least 20 minutes ago and for all they knew she fell right into the fire. Miracles had happened, but he was unsure that his prayers would be answered on this one._

"_I want to get her out of there as much as you do Francis. After all, I've known her since she was a kid, but I can't spend anymore time trying to find her with a monster like that raging." The Chief said_

_Reports on the radio were starting to come in that multiple floors were beginning to come down. Lt. Johnson sighed at the thought but he knew what the call was going to be._

"_Bring them out; we'll recover the body once it's out." The Chief said_

_The look on Walsh's face was shear horror. They were leaving one of their own in the building, worst yet; they were leaving Alex Taylor inside._

"_Sound the sirens!" Lt. Johnson ordered_

_Walsh hesitated for a moment, not wanting to carry out the order._

"_Billy, NOW!" Lt. Johnson yelled_

_Walsh took a look at the building and then ran to the side of the squad and started to pull the air horn. The other chauffeurs did the same_.

_A felling of helplessness came over him as he listened to the call. It was a few tense moments of watching the building when he realized that the rest of his Squad still hadn't come out. Then he heard the radio come to life. _

"_Squad 5-5 to Lieutenant 5-5, we found her!" Lombardo exclaimed_

"_Lombardo, you get her and you get out of there!" Lt. Johnson returned_

_Walsh rushed towards the doorway when he saw them coming out. He was waiting along side Kim and Carlos._

_Kim and Carlos moved the stretcher closer to DK and Jimmy. Soon they were removing equipment and then the protective clothing._

"_How far did she fall?" Kim asked as a crowd of firefighters gathered around them, including the Battalion Chief and Lieutenant Johnson._

"_3 floors." Jimmy replied_

"_She land on her back?" Carlos asked quickly _

"_That's how she was when we found her." Jimmy replied as they loaded Taylor into the back of the medic unit. _

The rain began to fall a little harder. Walsh could hear someone approaching.

"Burnt down a couple months ago." The voice said

Walsh turned to see a kid who was riding his bicycle.

"I know." Walsh said as he stared back at the building.

"It was a big fire." The kid added

"I was there." Walsh said turning to the kid.

"Said there was a firefighter killed in there or something." The kid added

"She didn't die." Walsh snapped

"Are you a firefighter?" The kid asked

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Walsh asked

The kid didn't like being questioned, so he didn't answer; he just rode his bicycle away, looking back to see if Walsh was still standing there.

Walsh ran his hand down over his chin. He didn't want to be there anymore. He turned and walked back towards his Jeep. He got in, popped the emergency break and shifted into 1st to pull away.

**Taylor sat on the back porch of her mom's house. She stared blankly at the picnic table in the back yard. The anger made her numb. She let out a sob every so often, but she wasn't sure how else to react. Her mother stood in the doorway watching silently, unsure how to react. **

"**I hope it was worth it!" Taylor yelled. "You son of a bitch you took my life away from me! I hope you're happy!" **

**She slammed her hand down on the arm of her wheelchair and began sobbing. Beth rushed out the door and held her as she rocked back and forth. **

"**I can't believe this happened to me mom!" She sobbed**

"**It's okay Alex. Everything is going to work out." Beth said with a worried look on her face. **

"**That son of a bitch!" Taylor cried**

"**Come on, let's get you back inside and warmed up. There's a chill out here." Beth said **

**Taylor just nodded in reply as Beth wheeled her back into the house. **


	25. Breaking Point

Taylor sat silently in a corner of the living room looking out the window as the rain fell harder. She really wanted to be alone, but knew that there was no chance of that happening. Being in the wheelchair only made her anger worse. There really were no words to describe how she was feeling. Her mom tried to give her some space but she was worried about how the revelation would cause Taylor to react.

"Alex honey, it's time to leave for therapy." Beth said

Without even turning to face her mother she coldly replied. "I'm not going."

"Honey, you should really at least go talk to someone." Beth urged

"I'm not going and that's final!" Taylor yelled

"I'm worried about you. I am." Beth replied

"Can I just be left alone?" Taylor asked

Beth hated the fact that Taylor was being inconsolable. But, she was a grown woman not a little child.

"Are you going to be okay here by yourself if I go out for a couple hours?" Beth asked

"I'm 30, not 8, I'll be fine." Taylor snapped

Tears streamed down Beth's face at the sudden anger Taylor had for the world.

"I'll be back in a few hours, I love you." Beth said

Taylor didn't make a sound. The door closed and Beth walked towards the driveway, looking back at the house to see if there was any movement. Taylor just stared coldly. Her cell phone rang, but she ignored it. It eventually beeped signifying the missed call.

"**Hey, you've reached Alex. I can't answer right now so leave me a message." Taylor's voicemail picked up. **

**Walsh had hoped that he would actually get to talk to Taylor. He thought about what message to leave.**

"**Alex, it's Billy. When you get this message call me back. I want to see how you're doing. I know it's not easy to deal with the news. Call me back please." Walsh left the message on Taylor's phone.**

**He was still in his Jeep driving around, not sure what he wanted to do. Walsh hated to have left Taylor that morning, but she didn't want anything to do with anyone and he respected that. It was his scheduled evening shift so he headed for the firehouse early. **

"**You're early." Shane noted as Walsh got out of his Jeep**

"**Yeah, so are you." Walsh replied**

"**You okay?" Shane asked as they walked in**

"**Yeah, I'm fine." Walsh replied**

"**Yep, you're fine." Shane noted. "Pre-occupied by something, but you're fine." **

**Walsh stopped in the middle of the stairs and looked at him. **

"**If I was a betting man, I'd say it involves Taylor, the fire, and the news from this morning." Shane noted.**

**They continued up the stairs. **

"**She's taking it hard." Walsh said**

"**Well, I can't say that I blame her." Shane replied**

"**I don't know how to help her." Walsh added**

"**I know it sounds tough, but give her time." Shane said as they entered the kitchen**

**Walsh nodded. "Thanks Shane."**

"I can't believe that this happened. Some asshole decided to get back at someone and cost me my legs! Now everyone's worried about how I'm holding up. I don't need pity! I need to walk again!" Taylor said out loud in the empty house as tears streamed down her face she looked towards the counter in the kitchen where all of her medicines were kept.

"I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore." Taylor said as she wheeled herself towards the counter.

"I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't want the wheelchair or the pity or anything else that this has caused. This RUINED my life! My career's gone, my life is screwed." She cried as she reached for the bottle of her pain medicine.

Her hands trembled as she grasped the bottle. She looked at her phone as it beeped.

"Shut up!" She snapped and then she took the top off of the bottle.

**Walsh sat on his bunk and tried to call Taylor again. Once again though, he got the same result as before. He left another message on her voicemail.**

"**Alex it's me again. I need to talk to you; I need to make sure that you're okay. Call me as soon as you get this." He closed his phone just as the alarm sounded.**

"**Squad 5-5, Ladder 100 respond for smoke in the building. 1037 E. 71st." The Claxton called**

Taylor stared at her phone as it continued to beep. She had been ignoring calls all day. Finally she picked it up to listen to the voicemail.

"4 new messages… message one…" The automatic voice said

"Alex it's me…" She didn't let the message finish before she deleted it and moved onto the next.

"Alex, come on…" Once again she deleted the message without listening to all of it.

She listened to the third message.

"How am I doing?" She asked her phone.

"I'm doing great!" She said sarcastically as she looked at the open pill bottle in her hand.

Tears began to stream down her face as she listened to the fourth message.

"I can't do this anymore Billy." She said to the phone. "I can't pretend everything's okay. I can't be paralyzed. I don't want to be here anymore!"

She threw her cell phone against the wall. Then she poured a handful of pills into her hand.

"I'm sorry." She said


	26. Trouble

Taylor fiddled with the bottle of pills in her hand.

"Do I really want to do this?" She asked herself

Then she looked towards the trash can with the crumpled up newspaper. Tears were still falling trickling down her face. Her phone started ringing again.

"Won't he just give up?" She asked herself in anger as she grabbed the phone.

"Hello!" She snapped

Walsh's reaction was shocked.

"Are you okay Alex?" He asked

"I'm not okay! I'll never be okay!" She yelled at the phone

"Whoa, calm down." Walsh said. "I want to talk to you."

He could hear rattling in the background.

"Goodbye Billy." Taylor replied sharply and shut the phone.

Walsh looked at his own phone for a minute.

"Something wrong?" Shane asked

"I don't know." Walsh replied.

Walsh immediately went to Lieutenant Johnson's office.

"Lieu, I need a couple hours." Walsh said

"Everything okay?" Lt. Johnson asked

"I'm not sure." Walsh looked at the paper lying on the lieutenant's desk. "I think that Taylor might be in trouble."

"Trouble? Like she's hurt trouble?" Lt. Johnson asked

"No, I think she might be thinking about trying to kill herself." Walsh said

Lt. Johnson looked at him.

"Taylor? Are you SURE?" He asked

"She wouldn't answer her phone ever since she got the newspaper, and just now she snapped at me on the phone. And I think…" Walsh paused and started to turn white.

Lt. Johnson looked at him.

"I heard pills!" Walsh said as he started out of the office.

"Go! Fast." Lt. Johnson said

**Taylor pulled the newspaper from the trash can. She straightened it out a little and stared at the picture of the man suspected of starting the fire. **

"**I HATE YOU!" She screamed at the picture. "I HATE YOU!" **

**Then she threw the paper to the floor and started to hit the counter, table, and anything else she could reach with her fist. In doing so, she knocked the open pill bottle over and the pills fell all over the floor. **

"**Damn it!" She cried out as she tried to lean over and grab some of the little white pills off of the floor. **

**Her chair bumped the table and it table slid away from her slightly and a candle that had been burning fell over, igniting a small fire on the papers still laying on the table. The jar candle fell to the floor and the glass shattered, getting her attention. **

"**Oh no!" She cried out as she looked at the fire that was now starting to spread. **

**She reached for her phone, but it was too far away. Being a firefighter, she knew that it was best to just get out of the house and so she started to wheel herself away as fast as she could but her chair caught on the corner of a cabinet and flipped. **

**Taylor landed with a thud on the floor, her chair on top of her legs. She began to panic and tried to push the chair away before the fire spread any further. The smoke alarms started to sound in the house. **

"**Damn it!" She cried out as she continued to struggle with the chair. **

Walsh raced towards Taylor's house, not even thinking about what to say. He felt like he was going 100 miles an hour, at least his heart was. Soon he turned onto her street.

"Is that smoke?" He asked himself as he could smell it in the air.

He drove a little further down the block and saw a few kids run out into the street. He swerved to avoid them, running his Jeep up over the curb and into a tree.

"Shit!" He said as he turned off the ignition. He could see in his mirror that he had a cut on his forehead.

He got out of the car to go by foot to Taylor's house when he heard the kids yell.

"FIRE!"

Walsh turned quickly. "Oh no!" He yelled

He grabbed his phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"This is firefighter Walsh from the 5-5. I got a house fire at 1151 Furman St. Brooklyn Heights. Possible entrapment."

He closed his phone and ran towards the house.

"Alex!" He yelled as he got closer.

He made his way up onto the porch and could see the flames in the kitchen.

"Billy!" Taylor yelled

"Hang on, I'm coming!" Walsh yelled

TBC…


	27. Burn Center

Taylor began to panic as the kitchen had erupted in flames. She tried to pull herself towards the door but it was hard work using only her arms. Once she looked back, she realized that the fire was getting dangerously close to her. The heat was intense.

"Alex!" She heard Walsh call

"Billy!" She cried in return

"Hang on, I'm coming!" Walsh yelled

Taylor's skin started to get warm, the fire was growing rapidly and she was getting scared.

"_Oh God!" She thought to herself. "That's my alarm. How far did I fall?" _

_She began running through questions in her head but her thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the alarm and the roar of the fire. _

"_I've got to get out of here." She said. _

_Taylor tried to move when she realized that she couldn't. She was trapped._

_She could feel the heat from the fire that was now above her, and tried to protect herself from other falling debris. The glow was the only light she had in the darkness of the hole she fell into. _

"_Help!" She cried_

She wasn't sure if the cry was in real life or part of a dream. All she knew was that she was in intense pain.

Walsh burst through the front door and quickly looked around to see if he could find Taylor.

"Alex!" He cried out as he saw her lying on the floor.

"Thank God! Billy." She cried as he bent down to pick her up.

"My legs are on fire." She pointed out

Walsh quickly tried to pat them down with his bare hands to put the flames out. Burning himself in the process.

He scooped Taylor up and went out the door. As he did so, he could hear the approaching sirens. Once he was well clear of the house, he laid her in the yard.

She was writhing in pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"My legs are burnt pretty bad aren't they?" She asked

Walsh looked at her legs and then back at her.

"You can FEEL that?" He asked

She winced in pain as he tried to pull her pants away from one of the burns.

"Hell yes I can feel that." She replied

Walsh laughed slightly as the first engine pulled up.

"You can feel that?" He asked again

Taylor thought for a moment. "Oh my God!" She cried out

The ambulance was next on the scene followed by another engine and a ladder truck plus a Battalion Chief. Walsh watched as the firefighters quickly went to work to battle the blaze.

"Are you Walsh?" The Chief asked

"Yes sir." Walsh replied

"How'd this happen?" The Chief asked

"I knocked over a candle that was on the kitchen table." Taylor said as the medics got to her.

"Looks like second or third degree on the legs." One of them said

"We're going to need to alert the burn center." The other replied

Walsh forgot about the pain of his hands as he watched the medics work on Taylor's legs. Finally the Chief looked at him.

"You better get those hands, and you head looked at son." The Chief said

Walsh went to touch his forehead when he felt the pain in his hands.

"My Jeep." He said

The Chief looked at him. "That's your Jeep in the tree?"

"Yeah, I swerved to avoid some kids running out into the road." Walsh replied

"We'll take care of it." The Chief said. "Now go before that bus leaves without you."

"Thanks." Walsh replied as he went down the street towards the bus that Taylor was moved to. "Room for one more?" He asked the medics

"Wow, you look like you got a couple nasty burns there." The one said

"Yeah." Walsh replied

"Come on." He said as they got up into the ambulance

**Shane was walking around in the kitchen when the phone rang. **

"**Squad 5-5." He said as he answered it. **

**He got a shocked look on his face.**

"**Wait a minute, Alex Taylor AND Bill Walsh?" He asked**

**He shook his head; all of the other guys in the house took notice when they heard the names. **

"**Okay, thank you." Shane replied**

"**Who was that?" Jimmy asked**

"**Hang on a second." Shane said as he went towards Lieutenant Johnson's office.**

"**Lieu, you need to come out here." Shane said as he moved into the lounge and turned on the news. **

"**That's Taylor's house." Kim said**

"**Yeah." Shane said when he noticed everyone gathered around. **

"**That was one of the medics from Battalion 87." Shane started. "They're transporting Billy and Alex to New York-Presbyterian Hospital… to the burn center." **

"**What?" DK asked in shock**

"**Apparently, a candle in the kitchen fell over and started the blaze. Alex was trapped inside and Billy rushed in to get her out. That's all I know right now." Shane said**

**The Squad was in shock at the news. **

"**Lieu, we should get up there." Jimmy said**

"**Let me call Headquarters and see if I can get someone to cover for us." Lt. Johnson said**

Walsh walked into the Burn Center holding his hands up in front of him. He followed the stretcher that Taylor was being wheeled in on, and listened as the paramedics rattled off the details.

"What's that?" One of the Doctors asked as he saw Walsh

"Burns to the hands." The one paramedic replied

"Alright, she goes to room 1, put him in 3." The Doctor instructed

"Alright." The one paramedic replied

Walsh hesitantly went with a nurse to the room he was assigned.

"She'll be okay, she's got good doctors working on her." The nurse said to reassure him.

"Yeah." Walsh said still watching to see if he could see what was going on. "She was paralyzed below the waist. Told me that she could feel her legs on fire."

The nurse looked up at him surprised.

"Sit right there, I need to go make sure the doctors know that." She said

He craned his neck around to see what was going on, but he couldn't tell. His nurse returned to him.

"Okay, let's get you taken care of." She said as she unwrapped the dressings the medics had put around Walsh's hands.

He winced in pain a little and the nurse took notice.

"How'd you do this?" She asked

Walsh snapped back to reality realizing that she had asked him a question. "Patting down the fire on her legs."

"Wow. That took a lot of courage." The nurse replied

"I'm a firefighter, so's she." Walsh pointed out, almost snapping at the nurse.

"Oh." The nurse said in reply.

It wasn't long until Beth Taylor made her way into the ER, looking around frantically. 

"Hang on a second." Walsh said to the nurse as he stood up to go to her.

"Beth." He said

She turned quickly.

"Billy! They told me Alex got burnt in a fire." She said still frantic

Walsh nodded. "She did. They're in there working on her now."

"Oh God!" She put her hand over her face as she walked towards the window of the trauma room. "How bad is she?"

"I'll be honest, it's bad." Walsh said trying to hide his hands. "But she can feel it."

Beth looked at him. "She FELT the burns to her legs?"

"Yeah, she could feel it." Walsh replied

"What about your hands?" She asked noticing his failed attempts to hide them.

"They'll be fine." He replied.

They stood and watched as the doctor's worked on Taylor. The nurse came back out to Walsh.

"Mr. Walsh, we really need to take care of your hands." She said

Beth looked at him as he reluctantly went back to his room. Her focus then turned to her daughter lying on the hospital bed once again.

"Why?" She asked herself as a tear fell down her face


	28. Waiting Game

One of the Doctors came out to talk to Beth.

"Mrs. Taylor, I'm Doctor Bowers." He introduced himself.

"How is she?" Beth quickly blurted out

"She's got 2nd and some 3rd degree burns to her legs." He told her. "The strange thing is, that she can feel them, which COULD turn out to be a good thing. I've never heard of it happening before. It's going to take time to heal, and probably a couple of skin grafts. But from what I understand, she's a fighter."

Beth smiled slightly.

"We're doing all we can to make her a little more comfortable in the ordeal." Dr. Bowers added

"Thank you." Beth replied

As Doctor Bowers returned to the room where Taylor was, Beth walked over to Walsh.

"How's she doing?" He asked as she walked in

"The Doctor said 2nd and 3rd degree burns." Beth said

Walsh looked at his own hands.

"Thank you Billy." Beth cried. "You saved her."

The nurse started an IV line in his right arm.

"What's this for?" He asked

"Pain management." She replied

"Why do I need that?" He asked. "I've been fine this far."

"Because your hands haven't been cleaned yet." The nurse replied

Walsh didn't have a chance to reply before the ER was overrun by the rest of the Squad.

"Excuse me, we're looking for two of our friends." Jimmy said at the desk.

"Rooms 1 and 3." The nurse replied

Jimmy spun around to see where the rooms were when he spotted Walsh.

"Billy, you alright man?" Jimmy asked

"I will be." Walsh replied

"What happened?" Lt. Johnson asked

"It's a really long story." Walsh replied

"Is Taylor going to be okay?" DK asked

"The good news is that she could feel the burns." Walsh replied

"And the bad?" Lombardo asked

"They're 2nd and 3rd degree." Walsh replied

The group of firefighters stared at Walsh like he had just hit them in the chest with a bag of bricks.

Lt. Johnson walked over to where Beth was standing.

"Taylor's a fighter. She's gotten this far. I see no reason that she can't overcome this too." He said to her

"Why does everything that happens to her have to be so hard? The academy was made extra hard because she's a female, 9/11 took her father and some of her friends from her, she almost got killed in the warehouse- instead she became paralyzed, and now she's got to fight off infection from burns…" Tears streamed down Beth's face

Lt. Johnson put his arm around her.

"It's not fair Francis. It's not." She cried

The rest of the Squad watched in silence before Shane stepped forward.

"Mrs. Taylor." He began. "You don't know me. I'm the firefighter who had to come in and take Taylor's position on this Squad. You want to talk about a tough job? Try taking over for one of the best damn firefighters this city has ever had. But you ask why everything is harder for her. I'll tell you."

All of the eyes focused on him.

"I don't know her that well, other than to know the stories that everyone has shared. But one thing that I do know for certain is that God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle. And apparently, your daughter can handle a lot because she has made so much of this look so easy. She didn't give up in the academy when they were trying to make her fail. She didn't give up hope that her father was still alive when she would go down to that pile every night to help search. After she was hit by the car, she didn't give up. She didn't give up when they thought that she'd never wake up after the fall. And she sure as hell isn't going to give up after these burns. She's a firefighter- it's not in her blood to give up. There's a long road ahead of her, but take it from someone who knows, she will be fine. With all of us behind her, she will succeed. We won't let her give up."

After Shane finished he walked to the waiting room without saying another word. The rest of the Squad stood in a temporary state of shock, but every word that Shane had said was true. After 9/11 Taylor had become an unshakeable presence. She became the rock of solidarity that they relied on. If Taylor could find a way to make it through those days, they all could. So now it was their turn to help her find a way through these days.

"Shane's right." DK said breaking the silence. "We're gonna all help her get through this. She'd be right here doing the same for us."

Everyone nodded in agreement. It was clear that this could turn out to be a long night, but each member of the Squad was prepared to wait it out, until they all got a chance to make sure Taylor was okay.

"Mrs. Taylor." Lombardo said. "We're here, and if there is anything you need, you let us know."

"Thank you." Beth replied as each member walked up to her and hugged her before heading off to the waiting room.

Lt. Johnson looked in on Walsh.

"So are you going to tell me what really happened?" He asked when he was sure that no one else could hear.

"I'm not totally sure myself." Walsh replied

"I know that you wrapped your Jeep around a tree, and that you pulled Taylor from the fire. They told me that part. You saved her life Billy. I hope that she realizes how much you really care about her. Don't you give up on her." Lt. Johnson said

"I'm not planning on it." Walsh said. "I don't plan on walking out now. The last couple months have been hard time for her, yet she let me in. I'm going to be there for her as long as she lets me."

The nurse walked back into the room.

"Mr. Walsh, it's time to clean those wounds." She said

Lt. Johnson looked at Walsh.

"I think that I'll just go back out and check on Beth." He smiled

"Yeah, now's a fine time to leave." Walsh said sarcastically.

"I'm not one to watch torture." Lt. Johnson smiled

"Is this going to hurt?" Walsh asked

"It shouldn't now that you've had pain meds." The nurse smiled

"Shouldn't? I don't like the sound of that." Walsh replied

Lt. Johnson laughed as he left the room.

"Son of a…" Walsh said aloud as she began cleaning his hands

Lt. Johnson just smiled as he walked back to the waiting area, noticing that Taylor was being moved.

"They're going to take her upstairs. She's going to be here for a few days." Beth said calmly

"She's in the right place to get the care that she needs." Lt. Johnson said

"I know." Beth replied

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Lt. Johnson asked

"I haven't even thought about that." Beth said

"Well, we have the spare room since Rebecca is away at college." Lt. Johnson offered

"Thank you Francis. You and Ruth are always so helpful." Beth replied. "I think I'm going to spend most of the night here though."

Adam came running in the doors.

"Mom!" He said. "I came as soon as I heard. Is she okay?"

"Yes. Thanks to Billy." Beth replied.

She looked at Lt. Johnson.

"Wasn't he on duty?" She asked

"Yes." Lt. Johnson replied

"Then how did he?" Beth asked

"I'll tell you later." Lt. Johnson replied. "Why don't we head upstairs?"

With that Lt. Johnson walked with Adam and Beth to the elevator to head up to Taylor's room.


	29. Hero

It had been hours since Taylor had been moved upstairs. Her legs were wrapped in special bandages. If all went well, her first skin graft surgery would be in the morning. It was well after midnight. The rest of the Squad had left hours ago. Walsh walked quietly into Taylor's room. His hands were wrapped in snow white bandages. There was a radio playing softly in Taylor's room. The song was _Somewhere Out There_ by Our Lady Peace.

"Hey." She said quietly

"I thought you were sleeping." He replied

"I was just laying here." She replied. "How are you?"

"Oh, my hands are fine now." He replied

"Liar." She smiled

"Alex. I want to ask you something serious." He said

"Uh-oh. That's a serious tone there." She grinned

"Alex, were you planning to kill yourself?" He asked

"That's a bold question." She replied

"Well, given the way you were acting, I have to ask." Walsh replied

"Do you think I wanted to?" She asked in return

"It's not about what I think. Was the fire accidental?" He asked

"Yes." She replied.

"Okay, that's all I needed to know." He said

"The answer to both questions is yes." She added

He looked at her.

"You don't know how hard it is for me to be in that wheelchair everyday. If I go out, I can see the look of pity in people's eyes- in all of my friend's eyes. I don't want pity. I want my life back. Then find out that some guy was trying to get revenge and ended up almost costing me my life. That hurt. It hurts! I lost my independence. Mom was afraid to even leave the house this morning. I just want to be whole again." A tear fell down her face

"I'm sorry that all of that happened. But talk to someone, a therapist, anyone. We all care about you and want to see you get better again. It can't be that bad that you'd want to end everything over though. Alex, I care about you. When you wouldn't answer your phone it scared me. Then when you finally answered, I heard the pill bottle. I got scared and all I could think about was making sure that you didn't do something stupid. Then when I saw the smoke, I was even more scared. I was scared that we'd lost you. You mean the world to me Alex- you mean so much to all of us. We want to help you." In turn a tear streamed down Walsh's face. "I thought that I had lost you- for the second time. I don't think I could handle that Alex."

"I dropped the bottle on the floor. The pills went everywhere. I was trying to pick them back up when I knocked the candle over." She stopped and looked down at the covers over her legs. "They have given me so much pain medicine so that this doesn't hurt."

"Trust me, you definitely need it." Walsh half smiled

"But I can feel my legs. For the first time in months I can feel them there." She said as she strained to move her toes. "Look, they're moving."

Walsh was surprised at the ease that she could move them.

"That's great. So we need to get you all healed up so that you can start joining me when I finally enter the New York Marathon." He smiled

Taylor let out a laugh. "I know that I have plenty of time then."

"It could happen." He grinned

"Are we waiting for pigs to fly or hell to freeze over first?" She laughed

"Now that's what I like to see, that beautiful smile across your face with those beautiful blue eyes." He smiled

"Thank you." She said.

"You should get some rest. You've got a long road ahead of you again." He said as he kissed her forehead.

"It's not so long when you have someone going down it with you." She replied as she reached out for his bandaged hand.

"You know I'll be there every step of the way." He added with a smile

Taylor nodded. "You have been so far, so I now that you won't stop now."

"I'm not letting you give up." He smiled

"I know that you won't." Taylor replied. "You're the one person that I can definitely count on."

"There's a whole house full of us." Walsh smiled

"But, you're the one who left work because you thought that something happened." She paused. "Turns out that you were right and you saved my life. That makes you my hero Billy Walsh."

"I'm not a hero." He replied modestly

"You are, even if you don't admit it." She replied.

"You really should get some rest. You're first surgery is tomorrow." Walsh said softly

"How about your hands? You never answered me honestly." Taylor pointed out

Walsh looked at the bandages.

"There's some second degree burns. Earned me a few shifts off until they heal." He admitted

"What about your head?" Taylor asked looking at the cut

Walsh hadn't even thought about it since he saw the flames.

"Better than my Jeep." He laughed

"You better get that fixed because I'm looking forward to riding in it again." She grinned

"I'll get it fixed. I promise." He smiled

"Good." She replied. "Now promise me one more thing."

"What's that?" He asked

"That you won't leave me tonight." She added

"You want me to sit here all night?" He asked

"Please." She pleaded with him.

"Alright." He said pulling the chair closer to the bed.

"Thank you." She added

"Are you scared of having another surgery?" He asked

"Yeah, sort of." She admitted

"It won't be that bad. It'll help you." He replied

"Yeah as long as I don't get an infection or something." She responded

"You can't think like that." He said

"I know. I'm just scared. I mean we see so many people who have been burned and end up…" Walsh cut her sentence off

"You need to get that thought out of your mind right now." He said sternly. "Nothing will happen. You're going to recover from this and you're going to walk again- be a firefighter again."

"I know, I'm just scared." Taylor said softly

"It's okay to be scared Alex. It was a big adjustment to be paralyzed, and now unparalyzed. But you'll get through it just fine. You're a fighter Alex. You're a real hero."


	30. Post Op

The morning light broke through the blinds of the hospital room. Walsh stretched his arms. He looked over at the clock in the room and saw that it was 7:08. Taylor was still sleeping peacefully. He decided to let her sleep, since he knew that she was going to be even more uncomfortable after her upcoming operation. Slowly he stood up and stretched his legs, preparing to leave.

"Where are you going?" Taylor asked as she stirred

"I was going to head out." He replied

"You made a promise to me." She reminded him

"You're really scared about this." He noted

"Yes. Everyone has limits of what they can take. And I'm scared that my body has reached its limit." She admitted.

Walsh sat back down and took her hand in his bulky, bandaged hands.

"I thought that we went through this last night." He started. "You're a strong woman. You've gone through so much. That's made you even stronger. This is just one more bump in the road."

"I know." She replied

"Whatever happened to the firefighter I knew who said that they didn't know what being afraid was. That they were always taught to be brave in the face of adversity?" He asked

"They fell through a floor and nearly died." She replied

"But they didn't now did they?" He asked

She thought about it for a minute. He had turned this around on her, and proven to her that she could still be brave.

"Tell you what." He said. "After this is all said and done, I'll take you on an adventure trip of your choice."

"What, you mean like skydiving?" Taylor asked

"Anything." He smiled

"You really don't know what you're getting yourself into." She told him

"It doesn't matter as long as it helps you get better." He smiled

The nurses came in to prepare Taylor for surgery.

"Promise me that you'll be here when I wake up." Taylor said

"I'll be here." Walsh replied.

"Thank you." Taylor added

"Okay, we need to take you down for surgery now." The nurse said

"Billy." Taylor said

"Yeah?" He asked

"You're a great friend." She said, "Thank you for being here. I doubt that I would be if it weren't for you."

Walsh smiled slightly. "You think you aren't gonna make it through this?"

Taylor had a frightened look in her eyes.

"I'll be right here when you wake up." He smiled as he kissed her forehead.

"I love you." He added softly

He stood back in the hallway and watched as Taylor was wheeled towards the elevator. It was about to be another very long day. He decided that he was going to go change and get something to eat.

The day seemed to drag on as Walsh readjusted himself in the chairs of the waiting area. He wasn't alone, Beth and Adam Taylor were there as well as Lt. Johnson and the entire Squad. Carlos sat in the corner, leafing through magazines while DK and Lombardo chatted quietly.

It was about 8 hours later when the doctor came into the waiting room looking for Beth.

"Mrs. Taylor." She said

"Yes?" Beth asked anxiously

"I'm Dr. Kerns, I performed the surgery on your daughter." She said

"How is she?" Beth asked

"Overall it went well, but I'm afraid that there may be a complication to it." Dr. Kerns replied

"Complication? What kind of complication?" Beth asked

"During the surgery, your daughter developed a fever. I'm afraid that she may develop an infection." Dr. Kerns replied. "So for precautionary measures, she's in a sterile isolation room."

Beth became scared. "Will she be okay?"

"We're going to watch and make sure that she doesn't have an infection, and if she does develop one, we'll do everything we can to knock it out of her system." Dr. Kerns added

"Thank you." Beth replied

"If there's anything else that I can do for you, please let me know." Dr. Kerns said

Beth just nodded her head as the Doctor walked away.

The rest of the Squad looked on in silence. No one knew exactly what to say.

"Thank you all for coming." Beth managed to say. "It means a lot to know that so many people care about my daughter that you've stood by her all of this time."

Lt. Johnson nodded silently. But after all Taylor had been through a lot, and she was their sister. They had come too far to give up on her.

"We'll be praying for her." DK said

Everyone nodded in agreement. Slowly they all made their way out of the waiting room. Walsh stayed in the chair he had occupied much of the day.

"You okay Billy?" Lt. Johnson asked

Walsh looked up about half dazed by the unexpected question.

"Have you ever had a question that you needed to ask someone, but were afraid to ask?" He asked

Lt. Johnson looked on for a moment.

"Like?" Lt. Johnson asked

"How did you ask Ruth to marry you?" Walsh asked

Lt. Johnson smiled. "Well, it wasn't in a hospital ICU if that's what you're getting at."

"I'm afraid that if I don't ask her, and something else happens- I'll regret it." Walsh replied

"Well, then I think you already know the answer to your question. You only live once Billy." Lt. Johnson patted him on the shoulder.

"Thanks Lieu." Walsh smiled

Walsh sat in the corner for a long time after Lt. Johnson left. He debated on going through the precautions to be able to go in and visit with Taylor. Beth Taylor came out in the blue hospital scrubs that she was provided to visit with her daughter.

"Billy, why are you still sitting in the corner?" She asked

"I don't know." He replied

"Alex was asking for you. I thought you had left since I hadn't seen you." She replied

"I thought about it." He said. "Just like I've thought about a couple of other things."

Beth sat down in the chair beside him.

"What's on your mind?" She asked

"Spoken like a true mother." He smiled. "I think I'm going to ask Alex to marry me."

A smile crossed Beth's face.

"But?" She asked

"I'm scared to." He replied

"Now Billy, I've known you long enough to know that you're not scared to do anything. This shouldn't be hard for you. You obviously have feelings for her, and I know that she has some for you. It shouldn't be hard to tell her how you feel." She smiled

He smiled slightly back.

"Maybe I will." He said.


	31. I'm Going Home

Walsh carefully dressed in the sterile clothing that they gave him so he could go see Taylor. He took a deep breath before entering the room.

"Hey. I thought you weren't here anymore." Taylor said with a rasp voice.

"Nope, I've been in the waiting room getting up the courage to come in here." He admitted

"Billy you've seen burn patients before. You rescued me remember?" She asked

"No, this is a little different." He said

"The only thing different is that it's me laying in this bed, not some stranger that you've only known a matter of minutes." She argued

"Will you let me speak?" He asked

"Okay." She said

"I was thinking about something." He began. "I'm not totally sure how to say it…"

"Say what?" She asked

"Taylor, you mean the world to me- over the last few months I can't stop thinking about you. I was scared, I still am. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you." A tear fell down his cheek. "I want us to grow old together. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that I don't have a ring right now, and that we're in an ICU… but Alex Taylor, will you marry me?" He finally blurted out

Taylor stared at him for a moment- in shock.

"Did you just ask me to marry you?" She asked, not sure if she heard correctly

Walsh nodded with a fearful look on his face.

"Wow, this is a day full of events." She said

Walsh grew worried because she wasn't giving a direct answer.

"Are you okay?" She asked

"I will be when I hear your answer." He replied, fearing rejection

"Okay." She said

Walsh looked at her

"Yes." She replied

"You will?" He asked in surprise

"You really didn't think I would say yes did you?" She asked

He laughed. "I was paranoid that you'd say no."

"I'd hug you, but that'd be a little hard right now." She laughed

"I know." Walsh smiled

"Mrs. Alex Walsh." She said. "It kind of has a ring to it."

"Well, that it does." He smiled again

Even through the excitement of the moment, it was clear that Taylor was getting tired from her medications. A nurse came in and checked on her IV and then left again. Taylor slowly felt herself drifting off to sleep and she would try to fight it, but Walsh noticed it as well.

"As much as I would love to stay here and watch over you." He began. "You need to get some rest, so I'm going to head out. But I'll be thinking about you the whole time I'm gone." He smiled

A smile broadened across Taylor's face.

"You've made this whole ordeal better." She said

"I'll see you tomorrow." He leaned over and kissed her

"Thank you." She smiled again. "You better be here tomorrow- I plan on walking!"

Walsh laughed a little.

"Can feel your legs for a day now, and already planning on walking away with the place." He laughed

"You bet!" She laughed.

"Okay, I'll be here for that. I love you." He said

"I love you too." She replied

Walsh looked back as he left the room, pausing at the window for a moment. He really didn't want to leave, but she needed her rest and he could use a shower and something to eat. He changed back into his street clothes and headed out of the hospital. On his way home he thought about needing a new place to live. If he was going to have a wife, his tiny apartment wouldn't work. And then he suddenly became scared of the changes he was going to have in his life.

" I'm going to be getting married." He said to himself.

_THREE WEEKS LATER_

Taylor sat on the edge of her hospital bed wearing her FDNY sweats and a t-shirt. She leaned over and tied her shoes. Walsh walked into the room with a gym bag in his hands.

"You in a hurry to go somewhere?" He asked jokingly

"Yeah, I want to walk out of here." Taylor smiled

"Who would have ever thought that would happen." He replied

"Hand me my crutches would ya?"

Taylor needed the assistance of crutches, but a few more weeks of therapy and she would probably walk on her own again.

"I still think you should take it easy and use the wheelchair to leave." Walsh admitted as he handed the metal crutches to her.

"I've spent long enough in that thing, I want to walk." She smiled

It was still odd to be able to say that she could walk again. The scars on her legs were healing from the surgery. She'd spent much of the last 8 months in a hospital bed and a wheel chair. This time she could actually go home to her apartment.

Slowly Walsh walked beside Taylor as she made her way down the hall. The nurses all watched with smiles on their faces. They knew the adversity that Taylor had overcome. Finally, Taylor and Walsh made it to the elevator. Taylor was slightly winded from the walk because she still hadn't completely regained her strength.

"We can get you a wheel chair." Walsh said again noticing Taylor's struggle

"No. I said that I was walking out of here." She replied as the doors opened and they made their way into the elevator.

Taylor watched impatiently as the floors counted down. The doors opened on the third floor as a few people filed in, smiling politely.

Finally the elevator doors opened on the ground floor. Everyone filed out of the elevator and Taylor looked around in the lobby.

"You wait here while I get the car okay?" Walsh asked

"Yeah just try not to take too long." Taylor smiled. "I'm going home."


	32. Turn About

Taylor took her keys out as they reached the door of her apartment. It had been months since she had last walked into her home.

She opened the door and stepped into the small apartment. She looked around for a moment at the counters in the kitchen. The small table that she had in one corner of the kitchen area looked like it had about an inch of dust on top of it.

"I guess I need to clean around here." Taylor cracked

Walsh wiped some dust off of a shelf. "Yeah it might now hurt."

"There's a lot that needs done." She added looking around the living area of the apartment. She picked up a blanket that was thrown across the couch haphazardly and she started to fold it.

Walsh quietly put his hand on her wrist.

"You'll have plenty of time to do that later." He said as he pulled her close to him.

She relaxed a bit in his arms as he kissed her. It was a short lived moment when the phone began ringing.

"Just ignore it." Walsh said

"I can't." Taylor pulled away to answer the phone.

Walsh watched with a frown as Taylor made her way to the phone.

"Hello?" Taylor said into the phone. "Yes it is. Okay. 10:30 tomorrow, I will be there. Thank you."

Taylor hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Walsh asked

"The Office of the department." Taylor said

"What they want to retire you?" Walsh asked

"No, I had called them." Taylor said

"YOU called them?" Walsh was surprised

"Yeah, I want to know what it's going to take to get back on the job." Taylor said

"Whoa!" Walsh said. "You just started walking again; you've gone through severe burns. And you want to go back to the reason you were in that position in the first place?"

"I said in the beginning that I was going to walk again and I was going to be a firefighter again. You supported me then, now you have a problem with that?" Taylor asked

"No, I'm just saying that it seems a little too soon for you to start thinking about that." Walsh said

Taylor was clearly angered by the comment.

"If it weren't for thinking that I would have never worked so hard to get the strength back in my body. I've never given up on the thought of being back on the squad. You forget that I don't know how to quit." Taylor replied

"I want you to!" Walsh yelled. "You don't need the department to survive. You're getting benefits from them, with me working for them- I passed the Lieutenant's exam- we can live without you having to go through that again. Without you having to risk your life for the damn job!"

Taylor stood in shock for a moment.

"The damn job?" She asked. "You think it's fair for you to still get to do the only job you know how to do, but because I'm a female and I got hurt on it once- that means that I should just give it up? Do you have any idea how much I've fought to get where I am or was before my accident? Congratulations on passing your stupid Lieutenant's exam, you can get a promotion and here…" She ripped the engagement ring off of her finger. "You can have this back. It's obvious that you were only worried about marrying me when you thought I was dying. I have news for you, I don't need your pity, I don't need you to be my protector."

Walsh stood in shock as Taylor threw the ring at him. He didn't have words to respond to that.

"Alex…" He started but she broke him off.

"You need to leave." She said

"Alex, we can talk about this." He said calmly

"I don't want to talk about this. I want you to leave now." She replied as she stared at him.

He put the ring in his pocket and looked at her but her gaze turned to a cold stare. He bit his bottom lip in frustration as he walked to the door. He looked back as he opened it and realized that Taylor wasn't changing her mind. With a frown he walked out the door and closed it behind him.

Taylor waited a few moments and then she sat down on the couch and started to cry. She covered her face with her hands.

**Walsh stood out in the hallway hoping that Taylor would change her mind. He could hear her crying. He felt terrible and wanted nothing more than to go back into the apartment and take back all of the words he had just said. **

**Reluctantly, he turned and walked down the hallway**.

It was almost 5 o'clock when Taylor woke up on her couch. She had cried herself to sleep. Sitting up, she looked at the mess of tissues that were lying on the floor. It didn't feel right to her, but at least she knew what Walsh thought of her 'comeback.'

"I don't care what he says or thinks. I'm going to be a firefighter again." She said to herself.

**Walsh milled about the firehouse aimlessly. **

"**You okay Billy?" DK asked after he watched Walsh clean the kitchen.**

"**I'm fine." Walsh tried to deny that anything was wrong.**

"**You just cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash, and reorganized the pantry… there's something wrong." DK argued**

"**I'm fine." Walsh again argued.**

"**Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me." DK said**

**Before Walsh got a chance to reply the Claxton sounded. **

"**Squad 5-5, Ladder 100, Adam 5-5-3, Boy 5-5-3 respond for a residential fire 108 and Riverside." **

**Without as much as a smile the pair of firefighters headed down the stairs to the truck. **

Taylor made a little dinner for herself and sat down at the table in the kitchen. She turned on the 6 o'clock news. The headline at the bottom of the screen caught her off guard.

"FIREFIGHTER KILLED"

She knew that Walsh was at work and in one of the pictures that was shown; she could clearly see the Squad was on scene. Her heart was in her throat as she dropped her fork onto her plate. She listened carefully to the report.

"Firefighters have been fighting an apartment building fire at the corner of 108 and Riverside for over an hour now. As you can see there are literally hundreds of firefighters trying to bring the blaze under control." The reporter said

The scene shifted to a picture of an ambulance pulling away from the scene as well as another ambulance being loaded with the patient obviously being a firefighter. Taylor felt sick.

"We're being told that at least 1 firefighter has been killed and as many as 6 others are injured with what are being called serious injuries. They haven't released any names of those firefighters but we have been told that the injuries occurred when there was some sort of an explosion on an upper floor of the building."

The cameras panned the scene again and Taylor tried desperately to spy her friends and coworkers. That's when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Taylor said anxiously

"Alex." The voice on the other line was Kim's and she didn't sound good.

"What's wrong?" Taylor asked

"There was an explosion." Kim cried, "Billy's been hurt. You need to get to Mercy now."

The words didn't quite sink in as Taylor stood there for a moment. She hung up the phone and grabbed her keys.

"This isn't happening." She said to herself. "This can't be happening."

TO BE CONTINUED


	33. The Corner of King And Arthur

Taylor sped towards Mercy Hospital. She wasn't supposed to be driving yet, but she was in no mood to wait for a cab to show up. Her heart raced as she approached the ER entrance and she saw all of the FDNY vehicles parked there.

"Oh my God." She thought to herself.

She had been through this before, many times, though never as a civilian. There were news cameras set up in the parking lot and she could see reporters milling around. She parked her Mustang in a corner of the lot and slowly searched for a familiar face. She made her way across the lot, noticing that all of the reporters had their eyes trained on her- wondering who she was and how she belonged in their report.

Taylor was clearly uncomfortable making the walk in. She heard Kim's voice.

"Alex!" Kim said

Of course this caused all of the reporters and cameras to zoom in on their location. But Kim quickly escorted Taylor into the ER. Once the doors shut, Taylor broke her silence.

"What's going on?" She asked in fear.

"Billy was hurt, pretty badly." Kim admitted

"Is he?" Taylor couldn't bear to finish the question.

"He's hanging in there." Kim admitted

Carlos and Grace walked over. Carlos slowly extended his hand with the ring between his thumb and index finger.

"This fell out of his pocket in the bus." He handed the engagement ring to Alex who began crying.

"Where is he?" She sobbed

"They already took him to surgery." Kim said as they tried to escort Taylor to the family room.

However, Taylor pulled away from them.

"This isn't happening!" She cried out as she clutched the ring.

Kim, Carlos, and Grace watched Taylor- unsure of what to say or what they should do.

"He wouldn't be in here if we didn't have that stupid fight!" Taylor continued as she made her way towards the chairs in the hallway.

By this time she had attracted the attention of almost everyone in the ER.

"Whoa! Taylor, this isn't your fault." Grace said as she moved towards her

Taylor was now sobbing uncontrollably as she sat in one of the chairs. Her head began to hurt from crying, it seemed like she had done it too much today.

Carlos stood in front of her, he felt horrible that he couldn't help her at all. Grace and Kim sat beside her, putting their arms around her in an attempt to comfort her.

"This isn't your fault." Grace repeated. "There's nothing that you could have said that could have caused that building to explode. In fact the last words that he said before we had to tube him was 'Tell Alex that I love her.' He wasn't mad at you."

Taylor shivered as the thought of losing him came to her mind. She was still sobbing, and leaning on Kim.

"It's okay Alex; everything is going to work out." Kim tried to reassure Taylor.

It obviously wasn't working though.

"How… how bad?" Taylor asked

"He's got some very severe burns." Carlos knelt down and took Taylor's hands in his own. "I know that I can't tell you anything to make this easier, so I am going to tell you the truth." He paused and looked into Taylor's eyes. "His mask was shattered in the explosion. He had burns all to his face, and his respiratory tract."

He stopped, knowing that he didn't have to go any further.

Taylor sobbed.

"He's going to die." Taylor let out a sob. "You don't survive respiratory burns."

Suddenly she realized that she didn't see any of the members of the Squad.

"Is everyone else OK?" She asked

No one wanted to tell her the truth.

"They were all together when the building exploded." Grace said

"Oh no." Taylor felt even worse. "Who?"

"Shane and Lombardo are gone." Grace said

Taylor's heart sank. She hadn't really gotten to know Shane, but Billy was fond of him. And of course Lombardo was a good friend of hers and Billy's.

"What about DK, Jimmy, and Lieu?" Taylor asked

She needed to know the truth.

"DK and Jimmy were far enough away that they escaped serious injury. Just some bumps and bruises." Carlos explained

"Lieu's in bad shape too. He was beside Billy." Carlos said.

Taylor's face sank. She felt sick. She quickly got up and rushed to the trash can. After a few moments Taylor stood up straight again and wiped her face. Then she started to walk towards the elevator.

The medics followed her to the surgical waiting room where Jimmy and DK were already sitting.

Jimmy stood up when he saw her walk in. He quickly made his way over and embraced her.

"I'm so sorry." He said to her

"It's not your fault Jimmy." Taylor replied

DK stood with his hands in his pockets. He was uncomfortable being in this situation.

"It seems like we spend too much time here." He said as Taylor reached for him.

"That we do." She replied. "Did anyone call Billy's brother and sister?"

"They're on their way." Jimmy said

They watched anxiously as nurses moved in and out of the doors to the OR. Each passing minute they knew meant that Walsh was fighting to stay alive. It was well after midnight when a surgeon dressed in blue scrubs walked through the door.

They all stood up anxiously as he walked towards them.

Walsh's brother Tommy and sister Allison stood amid the remaining members of the Squad.

"How's my brother?" Tommy asked

"We did everything we could…" The surgeon said

The words just faded out in Taylor's head. The next few minutes seemed like a blur to her as she collapsed into the chair behind her. She sobbed as Jimmy and DK tried to console her.

Tommy and Allison both sat beside Taylor. They didn't want to accept the reality that they had just experienced.

The following few days were filled with the funerals for Taylor's friends and coworkers. Shane was the first laid to rest. Lombardo followed with an emotional fair well as Little Joe carried his father's helmet to the front of the church. Lt. Johnson too succumbed to his burns.

It was Walsh's funeral that hit the breaking point for Taylor. She still wore the engagement ring on her finger. She broke down when they lowered his casket into the ground. It was unreal to her.

"It doesn't feel real." She said while on the phone with her mother later that afternoon. "It seems like he's still here beside me." She listened to her mom speak and finally she answered. "It feels like ever since the day I went through that floor that my life has gone in a downward spiral. But I'll get through this one day at a time." Another pause resulted in her replying, "I love you too mom."

For the next three months Taylor was in and out of the gym trying to regain the strength that she needed to pass the department physical. Finally, 21 months after the fall, Taylor stood outside the firehouse at the corner of King and Arthur with her bag in hand.

"You admiring the view?" Davis called across the street.

Taylor smiled, "No, just thanking God that I'm back."

"Welcome back." Davis replied

Taylor nodded as she walked in through the open bay door. She paused and looked at the memorial wall with the added photos.

"Can I help you?" A young firefighter on watch asked

"Nope." Taylor said as she walked up the stairs.

"You can't go up there." The firefighter said.

"I work here." Taylor said as she turned back up the stairs.

At the top of the stairs Grace, Carlos, DK, and Holly Levine were sitting in the kitchen.

"Look who's back!" DK grinned as he saw Taylor

Lt. Doherty appeared from his office.

"You ready for some action?" He asked

"I was born ready." Taylor laughed.

"That's my girl." DK replied

It wasn't long before the Claxton sounded.

"Squad 5-5 respond for alarm bells 109 Riverside."

"Welcome home." Jimmy said as they headed for the truck.

The smile didn't leave Taylor's face as she watched the three new members shift restlessly in their seats.

"Stu Lotta Zs." One of them introduced himself

"Alex Taylor." She did likewise

"I know." Stu smiled

"Lotta Zs?" Taylor asked

"It's easier than trying to pronounce my last name." Stu laughed

Taylor nodded as she looked out the window while DK steered the truck towards their destination.

THE END

Thanks for reading!


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